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The surprising science of a happy marriage

The surprising science of a happy marriage August 18, 2015

CNN science of a happy marriage article

CNN.com just reported a fascinating research study on the science of happy marriages and one finding from that study stood out to me as something deeply profound. According to this recently published research, one of the most important factors in the longterm health of a marriage is found in how your spouse responds when you share good news. The research suggests that a spouse’s response to good news is one of the most important factors to the health and happiness of a marriage.

This is an important aspect of marriage and one we shouldn’t overlook. The science shows that this is a MUCH bigger deal in marriages that we may have previously thought. Below are three simple (but important) ways to respond when your spouse shares good news with you. Your response could have a big impact in the longterm health and happiness of your marriage.

1. Share in your spouse’s happiness and NEVER be jealous of each other.

Good news for one spouse is always good news for both spouses. Be happy for each other over that job promotion or something as simple has having had a good day at work (or whatever the good news might be) and never let jealousy creep in. Be excited with and for each other.

2. Be engaged in LISTENING to their good news and responding with encouragement and enthusiasm.

Don’t just give a blank stare or a bland, “that’s nice,” when your spouse shares some good news. Engage in conversation. Ask questions. Share your excitement. Be a safe place to share and to celebrate. Create a climate of warmth and mutual support in your conversations with each other.

3. Take time to CELEBRATE together.

Kool and the Gang sang in best with “Celebrate good times, come on!” Life move by so quickly that we can often forget or overlook the importance of pausing just to celebrate and mark life’s positive milestones. Make a special dinner. Turn up the iPod and have a dance party in the kitchen. Have FUN together! Taking time to celebrate also creates a spirit of gratitude and thankfulness in the marriage and that’s a blessing all by itself.

For more tools to help you build a rock-solid marriage, you can download “iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” straight to your iPhone or iPad, you can check out our brand new iVow online marriage course and also listen the iVow audiobook free sample.

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