In 2016, I had done text-banking and other work toward electing Hillary. I did magick AND voted (magick, also). I was confident. After the election, I spent the whole night sobbing. What went wrong? Was my magick broken?
Maybe, but more likely it was a result of lackadaisical turnout, voter suppression, and the big one: the ELECTORAL COLLEGE NUFF SAID.
Anyway, I was crushed. I was crushed to the bone and yet, I didn’t realize how crushed I was. Because when avoidance behaviors started happening, I didn’t recognize them as such. I knew I felt afraid, terrified in fact, disgusted, shocked, awe-struck at how such an abhorrent person could be elected to this office. Of course, I never stopped feeling that way. I feel it right now. The difference is that, for whatever reason (*ahem* mid-terms, maybe?) avoidance feels like the wrong choice.
To be fair, over the past 2 years, we’ve continued to make significant donations to the candidates and the campaigns that are important to us. I’ve signed a million petitions and marched in the marches I could. So I don’t feel like I did nothing, but I recognize that I have refusing to feel the depths of the fury living in me.
And now, I’m furious with nowhere to put that rage. And now, I trust my magick again and create a spell to help me step directly into the line of fire of my own anguish, disbelief, terror, and wrath with the hopeful intent of freeing up the fire of creativity that will allow me to step fully into my actions and my Actions.
This is a two-part spell. The first part is to open to your fear and ire. The second part is to inspire your creativity, so you can move forward with grace. You can do them one right after the other or leave some time between. I would hope you would do them before November 6th. Also, vote.
What you need:
Paper to write on (maybe a lot of paper because you want to be able to write BIG or at great length)
Pencils, pens, markers (again, maybe a lot because you might break something in your anger)
A hanky (you might be crying a lot)
A pillow (to scream into so you don’t scare your neighbors and get interrupted)
Something to hit (to punch your anger into if necessary)
Water (to replenish your spit and sweat and tears)
A candle (to inspire you and cast light on your truth)
Something to burn papers in (iron cauldron or another fire-proof container)
What you do:
Part One: Quit Practicing Avoidance
On the waning moon, gather your supplies.
Begin by centering yourself in whatever fashion pleases you.
It can be as simple as three deep breaths, or a Self-Fire Invocation, or as complicated as the Lesser Banishing of the Pentagram. The form is not important, only that you feel yourself empowered and ready.
Invoke the Elements, your Ancestors, your Guides, Spirits and Gods to be with you.
This might include the more destructive forces of Nature, your fiercest lineage, and so forth. The ones who won’t hold back from your outlet of strong emotions.
You may begin with a particular event that triggered your avoidance (for me, the election) or it might just begin with whatever is on top of your mind in that moment (the latest attack on human rights). Just keep writing, writing, writing whatever and however you wish. Break pencils. Underline things 5 times in red pen. Write so hard you tear the paper underneath. You are not going to read these words again, so don’t worry about legibility. Keep going until you literally cannot write any more.
Feel your rage, your grief, your fear, your pain, whatever there is to feel. Let it be.
Scream into the pillow; hit your hitting-thing. Find yourself wide open and raw and depleted, or possibly clean and clear and energized. It will be different for each person, but you should feel changed.
Feel your strong body. Ask the Earth to keep you grounded. Ask the Water to replenish you. Drink some water. Ask the Air to inspire you. Take a breath. Take another breath and drink more water. Go pee. Come back to your working space.
Ask the Fire to transform your expressions into energy for creative response to the ills of the world.
Gather up your papers and burn them, speaking your willingness to release into the fire all the ways you’ve been held back by fear of your emotions. Don’t spend too much time on this. If you have a fireplace, put as much as is safe in at once. Get ‘em in and get ‘em done.
Drink more water. Mmm. Breathe. Aaahh.
Part Two: Free Your Creativity
Gather up your tools again and begin to write all the good that you wish for in the world (including good that already exists).
Write about beauty and power and queerness and strength and justice and compassion and kindness and depth and freakitude. Draw a picture or illuminate your manuscript with fancy letters and metallic pens. Make it pleasing to your eye as well as your soul. Write gardens and safety and children playing and laughter and lots of music and dancing. Write about reading and making and cooking and eating good food. Ok, now you know what my writing will look like. Maybe yours is different. It should be, at least a little! It should reflect your vision.
Keep these writings. Refer to them when you need inspiration. This will help you remember what you are fighting for, what makes it worth it to keep your head out of the sand. (I’m talking to myself here…)
Repeat this ritual anytime you feel stuck.
And do remember that there are others in this world who are holding a vision of strength and compassion and celebration for this World and all Worlds. You are not alone.
Don’t fight just any ol’ fight, fight the Good Fight. I’m with you.
All images courtesy of Pixabay.com – No attribution required