The state of Oklahoma finally removed a Ten Commandments monument from the state capitol grounds late Monday night after months of frantically trying to find a way not to comply with an order from the state supreme court. The work was done at night, the state said, to “avoid disturbing workers at the Capitol and to keep protesters from demonstrating while heavy equipment was being used to detach the two-ton monument from its base.” But Glenn Beck knows the real reason:
Whenever Glenn Beck starts into one of his “I am the messenger of the Lord, you must listen to me before it’s too late” monologues, I always wish that he would actually put on a fake beard and long robes and really do it up right. Maybe even wear a sandwich board that says THE END IS NEAR on it. Once again, Beck is just begging us to heed his words and drop to our knees in prayer in order to save….well, everything.
Glenn Beck just loves telling us how he predicted every bad thing that has ever happened in the history of the world. Every single prediction he makes inevitably comes true, even if he has to pretend he predicted something completely different from what actually happened, or has to make an absurd claim that the outcome fit his prediction. Here’s the latest and quite blatant example of the latter:
Glenn Beck has probably been the most outspoken critic of the rise of Donald Trump in the Republican presidential campaign. He’s regularly blasted Trump and pointed out that his positions continually change and have often been very liberal, and that he really has no set of coherent beliefs. He’s right about all of that. But he completely misses the point of why the Tea Party types he loves so much support him in such large numbers. Here’s what he wrote after the debate the other night on Facebook:
It’s wingnut on wingnut crime time again, and this time it’s Erik Rush vs Glenn Beck. Erik Rush is disappointed, so terribly disappointed, in Beck for saying that conservatives should never have chased all that birther nonsense for the last seven years. In fact, Beck mocked the whole obsession with Obama’s eligibility, one of the few reasonable stances Beck has ever taken. So Rush offers up this “rebuttal.”
Glenn Beck is once again delivering Very Dire Warnings to his followers, this time saying that God is going to punish us so severely for doing things he doesn’t like that it will actually be worse than the Holocaust. But that’s totally okay, he says, because the Bible says that everything works together for the glory of God. And the most important thing when talking about things worse than the Holocaust is that it pumps up God’s ego.
Glenn Beck spoke at the big Tea Party rally against the Iran deal in Washington on Wednesday, joining no fewer than three reality TV stars (Donald Trump, Sarah Palin and one of the Duck Dynasty douchebags) in speaking out against the deal. Thursday on his show, he announced that he had finally figured out that Sarah Palin was nothing more than a clown, apparently because she saw her talking to Donald Trump.
Gloomy Glenn Beck was on the set of his show, donning the prophet’s robes and telling dark tales of impending doom if we do not do as he says. The Iran deal is the last straw, the very last straw, that will bring the wrath of God upon us all and this is the very last week in which we can stop it. If not, all is lost. This is not to be confused with every other time he’s said the same goddamn thing about some other issue. This time he really means it.
Professional hysteric Glenn Beck and professional liar David Barton took a road trip together down to Houston for the funeral of the police officer who was murdered — gotta show up where the cameras might be, of course — and had a discussion about the Kim Davis situation along the way. Thankfully they took video of it so we could hear Barton lie about the founding fathers and advocate theocracy. Again (and again).
Just last weekend, Glenn Beck held his All Lives Matter unity rally in Birmingham, Alabama and he was all sunshine and rainbows as he gushed about how inspired he was about 20,000 people showing up and how this was going to change the world and usher in a Third Great Awakening that will resurrect America as a Godly country. That seems to have lasted less than 72 hours. Now Gloomy Glenn is back, declaring our imminent doom.
We’ve heard all manner of explanations from the right wing for why Obama changed the name of Mt. McKinley to Denali. It’s because he hates white people! It’s because he hates Republicans! It’s because he’s a dictator! But Glenn Beck, believe it or not, has a far more realistic explanation than those. It’s still silly and wrong, but it’s not nearly that stupid.
When Glenn Beck was planning and promoting this past weekend’s “unity” rally in Birmingham, Alabama, he made it very clear that he didn’t want media coverage of it, that he was only doing it to get the attention of God, not the media. On August 17, he waxed eloquent about how this was all being done to be seen by God to win his favor and that he didn’t even want the media to show up and cover it:
Dispatches From the Culture Wars
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