7 Facts Christian Parents Can Teach Children About “The Other”

America is currently debating on LGBTQ issues (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and the latest term is “queer”) as it relates to a private business’ legal rights, public bathroom policies, and a counselor’s ethical duties. As a social worker, a counselor, a private business owner, a parent, and a consumer of public services, I have some insights into these hotly contested topics. As an Asian American, a former refugee, an immigrant- turned-citizen, agnostic-turned-Christian, and a Californian-turned-Texan, I can tackle the different, oftentimes controversial perspectives on an individual and societal level. Instead, this article will address how Christian parents can guide their children around these minefields. Let’s simplify this into seven basic facts to teach our nation’s future leaders.

Fact 1: We all have red blood in our veins. No matter what skin color people see on the outside, or even how many mixed emotions we feel on the inside, every single person bleeds red. This is a biological fact, which binds us to the larger body of Earthlings called human beings. If Christians want to feel scientific, we might say to our school age child that people belong to a group of creatures called “homo-sapiens,” without having to navigate the theological and philosophical discussions of the differences between apes and humans. 

Fact 2: We are all unique in some way. We might explain to our son that his DNA is different from his brother’s, even if he has an identical twin and looks the same way on the outside. Our daughter needs to be told that her DNA is one of a kind, even if she has no biological siblings to compare with. It is different from mom’s and dad’s even though she came from a combination of both, and even if she is raised by a single parent. This means that our child cannot be, has never been, and will never be replicated ever again. How special s/he truly is!

Fact 3: We are all God’s children. This article is written for Christians and that is what the Bible teaches. Call me unintelligent, unscientific, and gullible for studying the best-selling book of all time. We are all descendents of the original Father and Mother of humankind, Adam and Eve, who were created by God in His image (Genesis 1:24-28). Children are sharp learners, also bearing God’s image. If you don’t talk about the Majestic Divine to them, they will go find their own meaning in life and it may not be as beautiful or true. Parents, anchor your children to a loving, masterful Creator, one who can account for your son or daughter long before you’ve learned the ropes.

Fact 4: We are all sinners. To “sin” in the Greek means to “miss the mark.” It does not mean bad! Shame on you! How dare you? How could you? Or my least favorite myth–disgusting, despicable, unlovable outcast!  Every single person is tempted to veer off course in this life (James 1:14). Sin is the transgression against God’s laws (1 John 3:4). Romans 3:23 tells us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Explain what sin means to your child so that she knows that she is not unlovable just because she sins. In fact, admit to your child that you are a sinner also. Even as a professed Christian, you still have much to learn in the way of holiness. You are not pure like God. You are not all knowing, all seeing, or all good like God. The more you are able to admit the truth to yourself and your children, the more intimate a relationship you will be able to cultivate with your little ones.

Fact 5: God forgives all of us–parents and children alike, male and female, hetero or homo, black, white, red, yellow, brown, blue or green. In a few years, expect more letters to be added to the LGBTQ category, just like Q was introduced in recent years along with “cis,” to complement “trans.” Earth’s highest functioning creatures are trying to understand their lives without referring to God’s explanations. Regardless of what new terminology is legalized and normalized, God forgives anyone who asks for His forgiveness. Why else did He send His son, Jesus, to die on the cross?

Romans 5:8 tells us that He loved us while we were still sinners. That means that we’ve been given a free gift at His expense. Whether or not we recognize the value of this amazing grace is beside the point. However, once we realize what God did for us, we know that we did not earn it by our own good works. In fact, as human beings living in a fallen world, we will never earn our way to forgiveness no matter how much we fight for the oppressed or how involved we get in church ministry. Therefore, as He has freely forgiven us, we need to freely forgive others. Adult family members, even in Christian homes, often struggle with forgiving each other. This warps the child’s view of who God is and how merciful He is.

Fact 6: God is the best judge. While civilized human societies have a need for upright judges, their insight, mind-sight, and foresight ultimately fall short. Controversies arise because we live in a society where there are shortsighted citizens who vote on what they perceive as the best rules, imperfect police who enforce man-made laws, and fallible judges who discern their nuances and applications. But I would much rather live in the messiness of a free, democratic Republic than its two extreme alternatives: absolute dictatorship or a free-for-all, chaotic environment where there are no boundaries, ethics, or justice. And what better way to emulate God as the best judge of all time than to study His teachings in the Scriptures? Yet, while the bible clearly lists what God abhors, and calls believers to discern good from evil, light from darkness (Isaiah 5:20), His loving, compassionate character is also hard to miss. 

Fact 7: Praying will lead us closer to God and to each other. When in doubt, pray. When we’re not sure how the Scriptures is speaking to us, pray. When we don’t understand our neighbors for the way they carry on their lives, pray. When we are not sure how to respond to fellow Christians because their political orientation is opposite from us, pray. When we don’t have the words to communicate to an unbeliever about God’s truth, pray. Then show them some love without winning verbal spats. When children ask tough questions, let them know that we will be consulting the Mastermind of all tough questions. Parents can model for children how to lead a submissive life—that is, submissive to the sovereignty, deity, and holiness of our Higher Being. So, let us get on our knees and pray with our young wards for the fellow down the street who appears so different from us. Let us all pray together for this world that is filled with sinners, but beautiful image bearers of our Creator. Finally, let us pray for our children to learn these facts.

Any other basic facts I’m missing from this list? Do share.

Some suggested resources for Christian Parents:

http://www.acpeds.org/     http://www.desiringgod.org/  http://www.christianpost.com/    http://www.christianitytoday.org/    http://erlc.com/  http://www.familylife.com/    http://www.focusonthefamily.com/      http://www.christopheryuan.com/    http://rosariabutterfield.com/