I am pleased to be participating in a blog tour for my friend Michelle Van Loon’s new book from Beacon Hill Press, If Only: Letting Go of Regret. Regret is one of the most devastating emotions, I think, and one we simply don’t know what to do with. We’ve learned to deal with our anger by counting to 10 before reacting to someone who makes us mad. We’ve learned to deal with hurt feelings by using “I” statements rather than accusing the... Read more
Several years ago, when I was invited to speak at a conference, a friend (who was also speaking) and I shared a room to save money. Our room was not in an actual hotel, but rather in a sort of guest house that the hosting organization ran in an old apartment building. The furnishings were simple and, given their mismatched state, appeared to be donated or purchased secondhand. At first glance, it seemed clean and nice enough. Neither I nor... Read more
Perhaps part of me thinks that to be worthwhile, prayer and Bible study have to be strenuous and difficult and unpleasant. Showing up to church to sing beautiful music, read ready-made prayers, and hear an excellent sermon seems too simple. Read more
After years of driving south to visit my husband’s family in North Carolina, our family has developed a series of designated stopping places that give us just what we need at certain points in our journey. There’s the Delaware rest stop with pretty flower gardens and a playground, which is a perfect place to stretch our legs after the long slog through New Jersey. There’s a particular Chick-Fil-A that is perfectly situated for a late lunch stop. The service is... Read more
While I grew up in the Episcopal Church (the same Episcopal Church I currently attend, in fact), I didn’t start thinking proactively about my Christian faith until I got involved with an evangelical fellowship in college. I learned a lot of unfamiliar evangelical lingo, including “quiet time” (sometimes shortened to “QT”) to refer to time spent in prayer and Bible study. As a friend explained in a talk, if you want to have a good relationship with somebody, you spend... Read more
When people get all in a tizzy about how the Internet is ruining real human relationships, I get exasperated. Because thanks to Facebook and online journalism, I have a cadre of writing colleagues with whom I have almost daily contact, and whom I also consider friends. One colleague/friend is Marlena Graves, who is one of the most genuinely kind, lovely and encouraging people I know. Marlena’s new book, A Beautiful Disaster: Finding Hope in the Midst of Brokenness has just been... Read more
Every Memorial Day, families in our suburb of Hartford, Conn., gather in the town center for a parade. Our church takes advantage of our location on the parade route to invite passers-by to stop for bowls of strawberry shortcake (with hot dogs and drinks also available). It’s a modest fundraiser for the church, but also a way for us to serve and connect with our neighborhood in a simple, concrete way. I even wonder if our annual Strawberry Festival might... Read more
This assumption—that a life marked by suffering is not worth living—leads us to believe that bodies subject to pain and limitation ought to either be heroically rescued or hastened to death, rather than embraced and abided as they are, in their living and their dying. Read more
Admire me for what I do—for writing well or raising decent kids or having a lovely garden. But don't admire me just for existing, just because I live a mostly unremarkable life with scars and a limp and a history of dozens of broken bones. Read more
Shortly after we were married, Daniel and I traveled to Boone, North Carolina—home of Daniel’s alma mater, Appalachian State University—so he could introduce me to his college stomping grounds. Our weekend included a Sunday morning service at the Baptist church Daniel had attended during college. The pastor closed the service with a prayer that, according to the pastor’s introduction, was written many centuries ago by a young man named Julian who was preparing for ordination. I looked at my bulletin,... Read more
Ellen Painter Dollar
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