How Do You React To Change?

The following article is from my dear friend and colleague, Maryam Reimer, who is a long-time student of Sufism and lover of God.

Feet of African Dancer

How Do You React to Change?

We can fight change. We can welcome change. We can accept change.

The challenge is to know which of these we are actually doing — fighting, welcoming or accepting. And, are we doing more than one?

In any given moment, we could be doing all three. What makes it so tricky is knowing where to look to find our answers. While it’s easier to look at our actions, the answers usually lie in the choices we make before the action and what is behind those choices.

Every action we take in this world is preceded by many choices.

We make many of those choices so quickly and subconsciously that we are likely unaware there is even a choice to be made. And, behind those choices are often beliefs or memories — heart memories, sometimes called pictures or voices.

I feel like I need to share an example here to illustrate what I’m trying to express. I hope this helps.

I was in a meeting several years ago, and it started it out just like any other meeting. For us, that means starting with an opening prayer called the Fatiha. The meeting continued along the normal path but by the end of the meeting I was in quite a state – something had triggered me, and I had no idea what.

Yes, there were people in the meeting that I could blame, but I had learned that there were some heart memories that brought me to that state.

Later that same week, a friend was helping me to help uncover and clear those heart memories. But, our time together didn’t follow the normal path of these conversations. She introduced me to this concept of choice points.

We started with where I landed at the end of the meeting and kept slowly go backwards through my emotions and experiences within the meeting until we found the point where I made a choice — the choice to fall down the rabbit hole, so to speak. Then we could look at what led me to make that choice and then start to wash and clear the heart memories that were the impetus for making the choice I had made. I also saw that other choices were possible — more divinely-guided choices.

Our heart memories and beliefs make us who we are, but they can also keep us stuck and living in the past. Or, possibly the future when we imagine what our lives would be like without the pain, constriction, or collapse.

As long as we hold onto those heart memories and beliefs, we are fighting change at least in some (if not all) areas of our lives and in the choices we make.

Once we make the decision to start examining our choices and what’s behind those choices, then we start to welcome change.

When do we start accepting change?

Do we need to clear all those heart memories? No!

The acceptance of change begins when we start to identify and examine our choices, heart memories, etc. And, the acceptance continues when we start to close the door to the past, whether it be 30 years, 3 days, 3 hours or even 3 minutes ago.

As we start to accept that change is indeed possible and can happen in our lives, we also start to let go of heart memories and limiting beliefs.

Remember, the past is done and gone, and we can’t change it.

If you walk with your head turned around looking behind you, then you will never be able to see where you’re going and may miss those doors and windows that have been put in our path — those doors and windows are our opportunities for change. For me, that meeting was one of the many doors and windows that I’ve been blessed with.

How can we close the door to the past?

The biggest key that I see is the spiritual practice of forgiveness. For it is through forgiveness that we will be freed from the past and find ourselves able to live in the present. There are many spiritual practices that can help with this process — maybe I’ll write more about it another time.

The second key is taking action when the Divine has placed those doors and windows on your path. I’m reminded of an African Proverb,

Pray, but when you pray,
move your feet.

We need to put what we’ve learned into practice.

In my experience, each time when I’ve gained new insight into my heart memories, beliefs, choices or actions that I’ve been making, I’m given a chance to apply what I’ve learned. In other words, I’m given a chance to move my feet and make different choices than I did in a similar past situation.

I’d love to hear about your relationship with change.
~ Maryam

This article is from Maryam Reimer, long-time student of Sufism and Admissions Coordinator at The University of Spiritual Healing & Sufism. Maryam’s passion is to create an open doorway for students to taste from the deeply sacred teachings as they travel their own unique journey to Divine Love, Mercy, and Peace.