We are home from several days in Madison. I managed to do a few responsible things but as of yet, we need to unpack, open mail & grocery shop. Ransom seems genuinely sad when he can’t have his addiction milk. He’s been so incredibly wonderful to have around since coming out of his whiny three’s a bit. I feel like I’m bursting with how much I appreciate and love him lately.
The day we got home I ended up spending 11 hours prepping for a sermon I was set to give the next morning at a Church in Grand Haven. Was it a bone-headed agreement to take a speaking engagement after a busy work week in Madison? Sure. But maybe the biggest boneheaded thing of all, was not just giving a sermon I’ve all ready done. Nope, for some reason I really wanted to do Psalms 132: 1-10. I’d just done a Bible study on it, in Beth Moore’s Stepping Up Guide & I was all inspired & junk.
When I got there it turned out to be an all white, older congregation of about 60ish who made me feel so welcome & appreciated from the moment we walked through the doors.
Maybe because I grew up in the Baptist tradition I’m still sort of put off by Church’s & denominations who are open to women preaching from the pulpit on a Sunday morning. Especially ~me! I’m sorry I keep rambling on about this every few blogs, it’s just I’m so new to this whole world of people who believe women have every bit as much a right to preach as a man. (Let me clarify & say my shock is in a church environment. As for InterVarsity, it’s a great place to be a woman in ministry).Anyway, it went well. I felt really comfortable & I think did an a-o.k. job. Afterwards, we went over to Grand Haven state park to spend a little time catchin’ the rays on Lake MI with our peeps, Jessica & Dave and Jason & Sonia. There’s nothing like snacking on Oreo’s, Doritoes, Carrots, Pizza, watermelon & drinking ice cold orange pop on a warm day with your friends next to a giant lake. No pictures though. (I’m basically paranoid to bring my camera to the beach, so you will never find a pic I took at the beach. I destroyed my friend Jodi’s camera at the beach & I’ve ruined 1 of my own. Darn sand)! Anyway, my body is toast. I put on no sunscreen & am all red to prove it.
I must admit, it sort of bit not to be able to get in. If youv’e never noticed, Lake Michigan is pretty frickin’ big. Call me a woos or whatever but I’m not getting in when the water is 53 degrees. No frolicking for me.
Yesterday at the beach was the 1st time in my whole pregnancy I felt well, to be honest, sort of fat & gross. It may have been all the skinny high school girls. Or it may have been the fact that from my perception it seemed like the guys were looking at me like I was a disgusting creature from Mars. Or it may have been that I was the only pregnant woman there out of hundreds & hundreds of July-4-beach-goer’s.
I don’t know what it was, but I felt like I wanted to cover up my pregnant bod. And when I talked to Dave about it, he felt sad for me too that I felt that way, considering that I “was the most beautiful woman on the beach.” He said what he saw was people smiling at me for proudly displaying my protruding (and very red) belly in a string bikini.
Well, who knows. I guess the lesson is, don’t let people’s perception of you determine how you feel about yourself. At least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself today. Because honestly, aside from the fact that I’m basically sort of miserably uncomfortable all ready in this pregnancy, I’m really happy to be housing this new little guy. Each day my anticipation of meeting him is mounting.
Lastly, Dave & I saw *Transformers 2* today. No plot. No robot, human or love relationship that I cared about. Just a whole lot of fighting. That said, Dave & I enjoyed taking 2.5 hrs. to be together in the air conditioning, smiling at one another. 🙂