Why Babywearing is like Heelwearing

They both kill.  One kills your back, the other your feet and your back.

I must admit, I was a little sheepish to post about not liking to wear my baby.  A few years ago when I learned about the ever trendy “baby wearing,” it felt like  its attachment parenting advocates may not appreciate my point of view.

Which is this: it hurts.  I’ve tried the Kozy, the B’jorn, a Mei Tai & a sling.  And what do you know?  They all hurt my back. But they all hurt my back the same way my 25 pound back pack did in my undergraduate years.  Maybe I’m just a weakling who doesn’t like carrying stuff, babies or otherwise?

Perhaps…

The ugly truth is *gasp* I just don’t like wearing my baby.

I would almost always rather being carrying less not more. How do you babywearer’s carry the baby (anywhere from 8-30 pounds), the diaper bag, your purse and keep your sunglasses, cell phone and keys handy?

And please don’t happen to be actually wearing heels that day.  Seriously, it’s enough to make me break into a stressed-out sweat just thinking about it.  I don’t like to sweat.  This is why I spent a chunk of change on a beautiful red rolling laptop case.  I don’t care like carrying stuff, dang.

And then there’s the hassle of the on and off, off and on —say, if your out shopping that day.  Oh my gosh, it’s so flippin’ stressful to me.  I prefer my babies strapped into the car seat as long as they are happy to be strapped within an inch of their life.

Honestly, my baby wearing days drive me insane.  Every day I try to love it is another day I feel angry because we have four perfectly good strollers in our household that wear my baby adequately.  They also “wear” my diaper bag, my purse and they are very willing to hang up my jacket & scarf, keep track of Ransom’s toys, hold my large Diet Coke and keep keys, lip gloss, cell phone & ipod handy.

Let me see you try that Baby B’jorn!

My strollers are like helpful full-time Nannies, except I only have to pay them once and they never disagree with my parenting philosophies.

I could sing the praises of a modern day travel system for ages.  I could explain the joy of jogging strollers for days, I could ponder the wonders of a simple Umbrella stroller for hours.

The problem?  My little Rhys-y has been such a fuss pot lately that I’ve taken to wearing him around the house.

Can’t fit a stroller around the house.  Love the convenience of cooking dinner while he is happily blowing raspberries.  Hate the back ache.

Babywearing is like heelwearing because:

1.  You can only accomplish what you need with the necessary evil.  You cannot make the baby happy like they are when being “wore.”  They do seem to really love it –like ALL the time– this much I agree with.

As for heels, you cannot –and must not try– to attempt the same look with flats that you can with heels.  It cannot be done.  You must forfeit that the look needs heels and decide for the sake of your aching feet to make it work with flats.  There’s no getting around it.  We all know it’s true.  Heels kick things up about a thousand notches.

Case in point:

2.  I can’t live without either of them.  Pain or no pain.  Beauty is pain, why the heck shouldn’t parenting be also, eh? 🙂  For all you attachment parenting, no-stroller-owning, dont-hurt-yo-back-Mama’s or anyone else who loves to wear babies: kudos.

I’m a wimp,

So, what about you?  Are you heel wearing, baby wearing tortured soul like me?