I can’t believe it’s been 7 months since I last wrote a post about my struggle with depression. It’s been an on-again-off-again-hate-hate relationship depression & I. For the past few weeks we’ve been -unfortunately- joined at the hip. (Which may explain last Sunday’s tirade of a post. Note to self: depression + blogging DO NOT go together)!
Anyway, I found it helpful to write about depression for one of my homework assignments for my Creative Writing class. We were assigned to write a Pantoum.
(By the way, you should totally try it):
1 2 3 4 - Lines in first quatrain. 2 5 4 6 - Lines in second quatrain. 5 7 6 8 - Lines in third quatrain. 7 9 8 10 - Lines in fourth quatrain. 9 3 10 1 - Lines in fifth and final quatrain.Depression
Here it is again, like an old enemy coming back to gloat:
“I see your still a loser and a fraud!”
The only hope I have is minimizing consequences,
just try like hell not to sabotage my fragile life.
I see your still a loser and a fraud,
I tell myself in the pages of my dusty journal.
I’m trying like hell not to sabotage my fragile little life.
Just survive. That is today’s task,
I tell myself in the pages of my journal.
My therapist. She smiles and says,
“just survive. That is today’s task…
Eat, sleep, watch a movie. Regret nothing.”
My therapist smiles again. She says,
“the only hope,” I have is to “minimize consequences.
Eat, sleep, watch a movie and regret nothing,” because
it’s here again. Like an old enemy coming back to gloat.
By: Grace Biskie