Why me Lord? Part 1

I like to build stuff. Not with brick & mortar, though I don’t mind building a Lego tower or two. What I like to build is much more elusive, which is a fancy way of saying the results can’t always be quantified, which is another way of saying I like to drive myself crazy building things that have no forseeable end, copious amounts of hard work with no guarantee ROI, “return of investment.”

It’s time, y’all for me to face the truth:  I’m a leader with an entrepreneurial heart.  I’ve wrestled with this truth in the past not because I was afraid to do the things a leader or an entrepreneur does, but because I truly didn’t believe I, Grace Biskie was good enough (smart enough / strategic enough) to possess those labels.  But, jeez it’s getting annoying trying to fight myself —not others!— on what gifts are pretty clearly developing in my life and furthermore are the most rewarding and fulfilling parts of my professional life.

This past year, as I’ve thought about writing and publishing my book, marketing and selling my book it’s been with a healthy dose of fear alongside an obnoxious amount of adrenaline and raw giddy anticipation.  Sometimes I wish I could wake up every day and spend my entire 20 hr. work week thinking, breathing and finishing my book.

But that’s not all…at several points this year I’ve also really wish I could invest more time and energy into my blog.  I’m a scooch afraid to admit this, but yes I would love to turn my blog into a thing…a living, breathing, growing organism.  When I timidly shared this with one of my best buds, J.E. she asked, “why?”  “Why you?”  J.E. is not one to hold back exactly what’s on her mind, and especially not with the ones she loves the most.  I thought about her question for a long time.  She was right, why me?  Why should I, Grace B try to grow an audience of ‘followers,’ a horde of subscribed bleaders (hint, hint) or a legion of devoted book readers?  So.  I took it to the Lord.  Why me Lord?  Do I have something/anything beneficial to spin out into the interwebs?

I started thinking about a little something I built back in 2003.  With the help of the hubs —we work together with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA— I built a student chapter for African-American students at Western Michigan University.  Putting my leadership and entrepreneurial gift sets together was a winning combination into creating a community of students who I dreamed of being healthy Jesus followers, who are transformed by their faith making an impact on campus and graduating as relevant world changing Christians poised to use their degrees and resources to make this world a better place.  In a nutshell.

That chapter, “CBC” has spun out hundreds of those ^ types of students.  Over the years, so many of them have told me that because of my influence in their life, the community that was built and the organization of InterVarsity that they are living incredible and fulfilling lives.  (Usually though, in hind sight)!  Whenever they realize it, it’s amazing and humbling.  These alumni, alongside my current students are the reason why I haven’t decided to be a stay-at-home Mama moonlighting a blogging/book biz on the side.  Instead, I work part-time, stay-at-home-Mom part-time AND moonlight a blogging/book biz on the side!  I love it all too much!  The success of that ministry is in part why my current position in InterVarsity is to build multiple chapters in multiple states.  Like I said, I like to build stuff.

So.  I’ve tossed and turned (turned and tossed) over the idea of building my blog for consistent income over just writing what’s on my mind. If it’s not in a “building” state, it takes less time, less mental energy, less worry.  If it’s in a building state it’s exciting, challenging, ripe for growth.  What’s a girl to do and am I the right girl for the job?

Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow…