when facing change

when facing change May 14, 2012

I’m facing change and like you may have guessed, yes I’m pretty much terrified.  Most of the changes I’m facing are the results of my choices.  There’s something both liberating and disheartening about that.

A blogging friend is facing the pain of change as she lost her twin boys, 18 weeks in utero.  Another friend is facing the pain of her husband leaving her but also trying to royally screw her over financially.  Ugh. The pain I’m facing is different in that it’s choices I’m making for myself: some good, some bad.  My friends had these painful transitions thrust upon them.  I’ve made my choices which add a layer of confusion in the form of “what if this,” or “what if that,” or “you big nut head, why didn’t you do this___ or avoid that____?”

Anyone relate?

As we face change it’s good to remember to cultivate thankfulness, whether by writing it down in the daily journal or speaking out your thankfulness in the form of a prayer to God.  (Yep, even if you haven’t spoken in awhile).

I’ve realized anew the power of this little habit when I think of our little, R2.  His strong-willed nature rubs me the wrong way so often, y’all.  Sometimes, I have a hard time even thinking about him in a positive way.  Seriously.  It makes me feel like vulture.

The past two days I spent time thinking, writing and praying through all the things about Rhys I’m thankful for.  For example, he’s got this really developed sense of humor that feels advanced for a 2.5 yr. old.  He makes jokes.  Because he makes jokes, he smiles a lot.  Sure, he’s wildly obnoxious when he’s having his temper-tantrums, but when he’s enjoying life it’s with that same reckless abandon.

Big laughs. Big smiles. Big enjoyment of life.

The truth is he’s an incredibly strong, able-bodied, intelligent, beautiful HEALTHY child who has simply yet to learn to manage his 2.5 yr. old emotions and desires.

He’s a gift.  It takes working through that, to help me work through the pain, frustration and sadness I sometimes feel parenting him.

I could wallow around more or complain about him on facebook or I could simply go through the process of cultivating gratefulness for him.  If this is what needs to be done, it needs to be done.

I’m convinced so many of us don’t pursue gratitude in our lives because we somehow feel ashamed we have to work hard to be grateful.  “If I have a great _______ (fill in the blank) shouldn’t the gratitude just pour out like fine wine?”

“If I was a good Mom, wouldn’t I be grateful every second of every day for my beautiful healthy child?” Lies. Lies. Lies.  I’m a good Mom (I’m *mostly* sure) and I have to work at being grateful for my little Rhysie-Bear.

As I’m facing change, pain and transition, I’m going to be working hard at cultivating thankfulness in my life.  It’s a spiritual discipline but it’s also just a good idea for anyone trying to survive.

Anyone.

Along with my beautiful new web design, I’m hoping to make some changes to my blog in terms of what I write about.  Less “mommy blogging,” and fashion, a little more focus on pursuing health in so many of the areas I’m waffling all over the place: marriage, parenting, physical health and self-leadership, just to name a few. Yet another change in my life, but in the spirit of this post —-I’m SO THANKFUL that God has given me audience of people to influence who will also help me to grow so we can grow together.  That’s my prayer at least.

Will you join me in being more thankful, more often?  A few years ago, I started keeping a thankfulness journal and then tapered off. DOH!

Even if your in the midst of crap up to your ears, what’s one thing you are thankful for today?  Other helpful suggestions that you’ve experienced as great ways to combat the fears that accompany change?

(If you liked this post, actually truly enjoyed it and got something out of it, gimme a facebook “like” on the button below over to the left.  I’m doing a little experiment today.  Only “like” it if you actually did!  And if you liked it or loved it even, share it too!  I will be thankful. =)


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