Struggling with Grace

Hello, my name is Grace and I’ve struggled with grace.

Some say, actually many have told me that I embody my name.  They say I am rightly named, that I show grace and have grace, yada yada yada. I haven’t fought those compliments like I usually do other compliments (i.e. Hey Grace I like those boots, Me: Oh these old things? From Wal-Mart? From 2010?).

Instead of a simple ‘thank you,’ I tend to downplay the perceived compliment (i.e. Please don’t find me special in any way because honestly these really are old boots!  Or more truthfully:please don’t find me special in any way because I AM NOT DESERVING OF YOUR ADMIRATION UNDER ANY SINGLE SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES, mkay?).

As if your calling attention to my old, cheapie Wal-Mart boots will somehow make me face my issues of self-worth with copious therapy sessions.  As you can imagine, if a little boot compliment gets me all riled up, what could a you-embody-the-name-grace compliment do to me?

Things are different with the you-fit-your-name-compliments that started popping about decade ago. I mostly accepted it because I wanted it to be true.  I wanted to embrace the concept of grace like I want to embrace my children and chocolate cake each day.

I wanted to embrace that I could and would and did personify grace because nothing else felt more hopeful that.

Nothing.

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