August 1, 2016

I used to a be a Minister. I served in a ministry position for 12 years. For about 259 reasons I walked away from it, which was healthy & necessary at the time. Intuitively, I knew the storm brewing in my heart and life was bigger than I could handle. Also, I was one half of a crumbling, toxic marriage. As the nightmares of life grew I went on to have a breakdown of sorts including but not limited to… Read more

July 27, 2016

By the words of the media, the condition of our communities (the number of murders in Chiraq over the July 4th weekend, 82+ for example) & the narratives woven post a police brutality murder is that black lives matter conditionally. The cold hard reality is this: sometimes black lives matter, a lot of times they don’t. Black & brown bodies are being lost in a myriad of ways. When we discuss “black-on-black crime,” the numbers of folks being gunned down… Read more

April 12, 2016

 I got laid off from my company last November, the day after Thanksgiving. The company was seriously shady & in preparation for their imminent bankruptcy they’d stop paying into unemployment for my state, where there were only 3 of hundreds of employees. Needless to say, none of us Michigander’s were able to collect unemployment while we searched for new positions. We got our last check a week into December, when we were expecting 3 December pay-outs. Not only that, because… Read more

March 17, 2016

I got off the plane and in the car with 6 other women, perfect strangers. I was in Nebraska, a state I’d never been before nor expected to ever go. I was there as the keynote speaker for the women’s retreat, Jumping Tandem. Given the nature of my previous three years, keynoting was also unexpected. Quite. My heart contained all the feels. Wait, let me clarify: my heart contained all the wrong feels… …I am divorced, therefore horrible. …I am… Read more

January 17, 2016

Yesterday, I posted on my public FB page about life being impossible and awful and how I had no hope and therefore must die. Or…something like that. A bit ago, the company I was working for folded & all of sudden *poof* I’m unemployed. As it turns out, they were straight up swindlers. They owe a lot of us a good chunk of change & made it impossible for any of us to collect unemployment in the midst of this abrupt… Read more

January 5, 2016

A few weeks before Christmas, my 10 yr. old asked what he could give me for Christmas that would be meaningful for me. Truthfully, he asked what he could do for me, substituting as a Christmas gift. His Dad had mentioned a few tasks around the house that Ransom agreed to do in exchange for a gift. Now, he’d come to me asking if I wanted him to clean my bathroom as a meaningful gesture. Very sweet indeed. I told… Read more

December 31, 2015

You must learn to be at home with yourself, both literally & figuratively. At home, clean up just for you. Cook well even when no one else is coming over. Shave your legs, just for you. Do better for yourself when alone, just for the love of you. Practice feeding, blanketing, soothing & caring for you, for the love of you. Others can and will do it, but true self-care starts & ends with yourself. Be at home with yourself. Heed the wise advice of someone smarter than me: “be who you needed when you were young.” Read more

November 22, 2015

I set the lap top down. I got up and went into the kitchen for the sharpest knife possible. I returned to my computer screen and I began stabbing it profusely until the knife went clear through. I then threw the laptop through my front window, shattering the glass, my laptop and my heart itself. Read more

November 21, 2015

When my ex & I separated, I took so few things. I didn’t want a lot from that house, honestly. Over the years, I’d become completely overwhelmed with more than a decade of pat-rack accumulation. There was so much. So much stuff. The mess of that house was the face of our despair. I took my books & my clothes and not much else but a fake plant. Not a coffee table, not a sheet set. Not a couch.  Not… Read more

November 1, 2015

After years & years of angst & soul crushing sorrow, I am at peace. What I’ve been through to get here… …seems downright unmentionable. Peace born from resolve, is greater than happiness. But also, surprisingly there’s happiness too! I am so in love with my husband. My boys are priceless, rowdy treasures. And the joy of a bonus daughter? What four on earth could be more beautiful? I’d give them the sun, moon, stars & the ocean, each & every one. There’s something different about this love I’m receiving, this love I’m giving… its overflowing & going out wildly. I’m softening to enemies, previous abusers and just regular old shitty, inconsistent friends. This love is overflowing & going out wildly. I’m learning to practice this:… Read more

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