CONTEST WINNERS! Here, without further ado, the best entries in the Rejected Campaign Slogans contest. A new contest is forthcoming. Uncredited entries are by me. [Edited because I forgot some.]

Rejected Campaign Slogans for…

THE DEMOCRATS. What do you mean, your money? (Jim Henley)

A glorious mosaic of public-sector unions. (Ben A)

Can’t somebody else do it? (Joseph De Feo)

Fighting to keep America Mexican. (De Feo) (you say that like it’s a bad thing! –ed.)

Because everyone’s a victim.

More union, less labor.

Death ‘n’ taxes.

We care a lot.

Kennedys: See them again, for the first time.

Envy, Wrath, and Lust.

Please, think of the kittens.

THE REPUBLICANS. Gluttony, Greed, and Sloth.

Just like the Democrats–only slower. (Henley)

This is your gross pay. This is your net pay. Any questions? (TS O’Rama)

The Party of Limited Government–unless it’s important. (Henley)

Diet caffeine-free socialism. (inspired by Hugh K. Myers, but actually by your editor)

Standing athwart history yelling, “Wait for me!”

Jesus hated the estate tax.

The Saudis aren’t evil; they’re just confused.

Fry Mumia.

The Dark Side of White America. (De Feo)

The White Side of Dark America. (De Feo)

Leviathan, with a Southern accent.

Southern efficiency, Northern charm.

Guns don’t kill people. Scientists kill people.

Because we like guns and butter. (Charlie Park)

THE GREENS. Die, Human Scum! (Henley)

The Party of Moral Equivalence

Ivy-League Populism

Utopia is just a chant away.

Do animal fetuses have rights?

Vote for Nader before the CIA gets him!

Dolphin-safe.

For people who think the war is all about oil in Kazakhstan.

Warning: Contains nuts.

THE LIBERTARIANS. America’s Third-Largest Third Party. (Henley)

Going to extraordinary lengths to prove that even a little power corrupts. (Henley)

Let them eat quiche. (O’Rama)

Putting the “I” in “laissez-faire.” (Park)

Can you say “Fountainhead” in Klingon? (Ben A)

Because you can’t spell “socialism” without OSHA.

But that’s unconstitutional!

Armies of one.

Death Before Relevance

Thanks to all who wrote in.