“I COUNT ONLY SUNNY HOURS”: TOUCH AND GO. The last section of the psychics story. This took a lot longer than I expected, and I’m not sure it was worth it. Last week I was completely convinced this story was a waste of time–something done better by others–but now I think it might actually be really good, and doing what I want it to do, and doing its thing better than others have done it. (I don’t mind doing something that’s been done before as long as my version is better. If you follow any art form or genre you quickly learn that the first artist to use some plot, trope, or formal structure is not always the best.)

Anyway, the story from the beginning can be found here (it’s short), or the most recent section here.

Revision: I already know I’m switching from present to past tense. It was much easier to write in present, at least at first, but there’s no thematic or logical reason to write in present (unlike with “Getting Fired”), and switching to past wouldn’t spoil any of the bits I like (unlike with “A Separated Soul”).

Questions: Is what I’m doing too opaque? Or too transparent?? I’ve lived with this story so long I really can’t tell the difference. Do you get what I’m doing here? Do you think it’s blatantly obvious and boring? Or do you read the piece and think, “A what’n Ah say a what’n is goin’ on heah?”

The ending is supposed to be abrupt. But is it stupidly abrupt?

How much more backstory on the lady psychic do you want? Within the story as written, you don’t even get her name (Lisette, if you care), whereas I know a lot about her, from her parents’ religion (Episcopalian) to her commercial shtik (bayou) to her actual place of origin (Orange County, CA). Do you want that stuff in the story? I do, and I’m trying to figure out how to get it in there, which is why I don’t mind telling you about it.

How much more backstory on the guy psychic do you want? You have his name, but only a rough estimate of his age; no sense of where he’s from, or how he found Lisette, or his background other than that he probably doesn’t have much money. I know most of that stuff but want to know what is essential and what is skippable.

Any other complaints, comments, questions? I’m deeply unsatisfied with this story, so I welcome absolutely anything you have to say about it (including very brief stuff like “Eh, this didn’t work for me”). Last week I wouldn’t’ve bothered asking detailed questions, but now I do think it’s fixable and could be quite good if I worked at it.