11. HUNG ON TO MY EGO. So there’s this thing, making the rounds of the rounds that I make, in which you list ten things you’ve done that your readers probably haven’t. I’m loving these lists. I want you people to do these lists! So here is mine. Email me if you’ve done any of these things.

In no order:
1- learned to sing “Frere Jacques” in Swahili (I have forgotten it now)
2- asked Newt Gingrich why he’s a capitalist (“Because it works”)
3- gotten in trouble for polling my middle-school grade to find out our religions (approx. 3/4 Jewish; I’m pretty sure I said “atheist”)
4- written an essay that led my advisor to mistake Maggie Gallagher for Kierkegaard
5- failed every failable portion of the DC driver’s exam (there are three)
6- played “Pin the Beard on Mordecai”
7- had the same surgery as the Pope! w00t!
8- submitted something for an essay prize only to have it win a poetry prize instead
9- howled at wolves, had them howl back (in a recording-of-your-voice-will-be-played-in-the-woods situation, not a throwing-a-baby-out-of-the-sleigh-on-the-steppes situation)
10- helped write a song about Heidegger (and yes, I know SRD has also done this because he was my co-author, so I am preemptively saying he cannot write in and challenge me on my uniqueness on this point)