I AM BOURBON, HEAR ME ROAR:

Congratulations! You’re 116 proof, with specific scores in beer (60), wine (66), and liquor (78).
Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you’re going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It’ll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.

Test your Alcohol Knowledge here. Old O, if you get less than the highest score, I will never respect phenomenology again.