GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT: It’s time for another fabulous installment of Internet Searches I Have Known. These searches brought weary travelers to this blog’s rocky shores. Shouldn’t we try to make the landscape more inviting for these pilgrims? So–a contest! Write me something bizarre and amusing based on any of these search requests.

Tell me about the significance of a dead cricket. Summarize an episode of Looney Tunes de Cholos. Write a Smiths song about Hilaire Belloc (or write a Belloc cautionary poem for children about the Smiths!). The best entries will be posted on this blog, winning you fame more evanescent than broody Goth rock bands. It will be awesome! Here are your possible topics, in chronological order:

possum sexual habits
non-sexual weird pictures
Human sympathy has its limited and we were content to let all their tragic arguments fade with the city limits
looney tunes de cholos
morrissey belloc smiths
zero mostel cheetos
what to look for in a man
living in sewers
really dead pro-life
jealous inadequate undersexed […I resemble that remark.]
worm in jalapenos
weird stuff
Excellent. The Arkham Asylum shower cam is operational.
What is the significance of a dead cricket
celibacy contest fun
is The Annunciation still relevant
songs about constitutional rights
british dream research cheese gouda
asterix karma chameleon [Lovin’ would be easy if the Gaulois were like my dreams???]
ghede passport [Ghede don’t need no stinkin’ passport!]
gayer lineage hacker