KITCHEN ADVENTURE: COME WIS ME TO ZE CASBAH. WE SHALL MAKE BOOTIFUL OMELETTES TOGEZZER. So okay, my first attempt at omeletteness kind of broke into parts. But I think that was because I was trying to transfer it into a too-small dish. Anyway, I used a recipe from The Foster’s Market Cookbook and it worked really well. Your simplified version here:

1. Beat some eggs (they say three large, I used four smallish) with salt and pepper. I’m not totally sure what “beating” eggs entails (dude, be happy I can walk upright, okay?), but I whisked vigorously with a fork until the eggs were all mixed-up like the files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankenweiler, and that seemed to work okay.

[EDITED: Frankweiler, obviously. Jennifer, Hecate, Macbeth, and her, Elizabeth are all angry with me now.]

2. Put a big smacker of butter in the pan and heat it up and swirl it around until you’ve got butter everywhere in the pan. Mmmm mmm. Pour the eggs into the pan and, I guess, turn the heat down to medium, although I think I didn’t do that for some reason.

3. This is where it gets interesting: “Let the eggs sit for a few seconds to begin cooking, then push the outer edges of the eggs toward the center of the pan with a spatula. As they cook, continue pushing the edges toward the center, allowing uncooked egg to flow to the outer edges of the pan.”

4. “When the eggs are still moist but no longer runny, place the desired filling on one side of the omelet.” The cookbook suggests all kinds of nifty-sounding fillings, which I won’t reproduce here (buy the book! or read it in the store! just don’t sue me!), but I used chopped tomato, onion, mushroom, and munster cheese, because that was what I had on hand.

5. “Fold the omelet over the filling with a spatula.” I did a little cookity-cookity here, even though they don’t say you have to, just in case. Anyway, voila! Decant onto plate and serve. “Garnish as desired.”

In short, this was really neat-o keen, fancier than scrambled eggs, and easier than I’d expected. The eggs brown a little bit, and hold together better than scrambled eggs would. (I’m assuming that’s because you use no milk and let the eggs sit longer.) Yum yum.