THE SPIRIT AND THE BRIDE SAY, “EVERYBODY BE COOL! THIS IS A STICKUP!”: So the other day I figured out why the Pope makes me feel minty.

I’ve talked about this before: The Pope does not stir immortal longings in me. He’s a guy in an interesting car.

But when he was in town, I had to grapple with the reasons I was so thoroughly disconnected from his visit. I mean, the DCPD was out in force, and I couldn’t be bothered to stir from my lair.

I think a really big piece of it is that I’m (depending on how you count) Jewish, or half-Jewish, or something. Not non-Jewish, is what I am. And so in order to become Catholic, I had to do a lot of work disentangling “the Church as the Bride of Christ” from “the Church as what a bunch of Catholics do.” Because if We Are Church, then the 1096 Crusaders Are Church, and frequently the Pogromists Are Church, and many, many Nazis Are Church.

(What’s awesome is how many people think I’ve never considered this shocking perspective. Like, yeah, I went to a 70% Jewish high school, and helped start the Gay/Straight Alliance there, but feel free to believe that I totally shut my brain off when I started worrying about the Catholic Church. And I really desperately need heterosexuals and gentiles to remind me of my responsibilities here, because otherwise I totally wouldn’t know.)

(Bitter is the new sweet, baby.)

But yeah–I guess what’s especially strange for me is hearing people who were raised Catholic talk about the Church as if it’s a group of people in a room, who may be “supportive” or may be not. When to me, it’s the Bride of Christ or it’s nothing. If I had to pick a religion based on which people were more awesome, there’s just no way I’d be Catholic. If it’s a bunch of people in “the bright room called day” of history, why on earth would anyone convert?

If the Catholic Church is just your experience, you should stop. Because that bunch of people has done horrible things. That bunch of people is not a good-enough grounding for ethics.