KITCHEN ADVENTURES: ABSOLUTELY CRABULOUS. So here’s two things that worked!

Crab/Peach Ceviche: I purchased four snow crab “clusters” (legs in a bunch, with meat at the end) and a “Southern peach,” both on sale. I chopped the peach and plunked it in a bowl.

Then I warily approached the crab. Let’s just say… I don’t own a clawcracker; I barely know a crab from a crayfish; and in general, the insects of the sea are not my bag. So I was armed with a dull knife and a lot of determination, against a crab with all kinds of prickly spiny bits and horrible hard armor. The result was an embarrassing display of unskill. I got crab in my hair! Eventually I did learn, more or less, how to extract the crab meat in big chunks rather than tiny shreds. Still, I am not a crab-wrangler–more of a crab-wrangloon. (…Sorry.)

So then I mixed up the crab and the peach, sliced a small amount of sweet onion and mixed it in, and squeezed two lemon halves over the lot. Stuck it in the fridge for at least 20 minutes. Took it out, tasted, and despaired: The food was bland and the crab/peach flavors hadn’t melded at all. Miserably, thinking about the grocery bill I’d committed in the service of this idiocy, I spiced the mixture. I used quite a bit of (in order from most to least) cayenne and black pepper, and a little of (ditto) cumin, five-spice powder, and cinnamon. Stir stir stir. I tasted it again. Hope sprang eternal!

Back in the fridge. Another half-hour’s chillin’ like a villain. Tasted again.

Oh yeah, I’m a rock star. This was great! I tore a couple store-bought corn tortillas into quarters and toasted them in the toaster oven, so they curled up and got crispity, and mounded some crab/peach on top. This was absolutely delightful. The tortillas weren’t even too flavorful (they were cheap is what they were), but the crunchity of them was terrific. Later I used the rest as the filling for quesadillas (I used Sargento’s “Mexican blend” shredded cheese, because sometimes things are popular for a reason) and these too were delicious. Spicy, elusive, filling, and savory-sweet; the crab and peach flavors meshed perfectly once they had some common spices to hang on to.

I also made stock from all the crab armor plus the lemon halves and peach pit. (Yeah, I doubt the peach made a difference.) I barely covered all of that with water, brought it to a boil, and simmered for… I think about an hour and a half. I added a tad bit too much salt–shaky hand–but not so much that I can’t fix it through judicious use of starch (pasta in soup, e.g.) and being careful not to add too much stock to any one dish. The result was richly-flavored with both seafood and citrus, and I really can’t wait to use it in a soup.

Made-Rites Gone Mod: This was much simpler! I browned ground beef in a pan. My mom’s recipe says, “Pour off excess grease,” but I’m guessing ground beef is leaner now or something, since I really didn’t have to do that at all. I added a little can of Campbell’s condensed tomato soup, a guesswork amount of Quaker Oats, and some more sliced sweet onion, and set myself to stirring and spicing.

My mom’s recipe says, “When it’s thick enough, it’s done.” She also recommends ketchup, which I didn’t have and didn’t use; instead, I flavored with (in about this order) black pepper, dried basil, cayenne, cinnamon, and cumin. I halved, toasted, and buttered a mealhada roll. My mom says to serve this with a tomato slice on the roll. I couldn’t bring myself to do it–no tomato I got from a D.C. Safeway is going to compete with a farmstand tomato from Iowa, you know?–although if I’d had some fresh sorrel leaves I might’ve put them on the roll with a few tomato or onion slices to keep the sloppy meatness from wilting the leaves. (I also do think some chopped hot peppers would be good here.) Anyway, instead, I just served up the meat on the buns.

And it was delicious. I’m sure the spices helped–all of the Made-Rites recipes I’ve found have used more flavoring components than my mom’s recipe, and although obviously nothing is better than my mom’s food (for reasons delineated in this important treatise) I do think the cinnamon etc. helped a lot. But the oatmeal was also a crucial ingredient: I was right to think that it affected not only the texture but also the flavor. I really liked this.

My basic thought here is that this recipe accommodates a lot of different tastes: It’s a base, not a completed thought. If you know which flavors you like, you should be able to add those flavors to Made-Rites in a satisfying way. If you’re not a cayenne-and-cinnamon freak like me, you can still make this recipe delicious by substituting the flavors you love into the very rich, satisfying beef/tomato/oatmeal/bread basic idea.

I would also like to note that butter on the roll is not optional.