TELEBIBLICAL: So I just watched the first three episodes of Kings off IMDB. Some thoughts. (Keep in mind that if I don’t mention something specifically, I probably didn’t like it! I was a real hard sell on this one.)

This post is written on the assumption that you a) have seen the episodes or b) don’t care about spoilers (including, you know, stuff that isn’t in the Bible).

Executive summary: Wow, a show about a contemporary/alternate-universe King David is a terrific idea. I hate what they’re doing with Jonathan; the acting is uneven at best (well… no–there’s no good acting under age 40); but there’s really unexpected subtlety in certain moments of this show. Also, 95% of this post was written after the first episode, which means that the subsequent two pretty much added nothing and subtracted nothing. If you watch Goliath you’ll know what the show is like so far.

What I liked: The contrast between the front and the capital. A thing I think a lot about is how isolated it’s possible to be from our military. If I hadn’t joined a group of right-wing freaks in college, I doubt I would know a single veteran my own age today. That strange disconnect, where the war is happening but it’s remote from many citizens–they’re not even really on the “home front,” they’re just at home–is hit pretty intensely in Kings.

The anointing/motor-oil scene. I honestly don’t know why this worked for me, but it did; maybe because it captured the sense of surprise from both men, that this really mundane moment had suddenly taken on supreme significance?

David’s piano music in the first episode sounds nicely harpish.

The scene on the steps. Harsh and real, and the only time I’ve actually liked Sebastian Stan’s otherwise eyelinerish, CW-style acting as Jack. I first thought the dialogue was annoyingly conflicted between a today’s-America worldview (“how God made you”) and a more Biblical one, but actually, I think it might be seen as part of Silas’s shifting between trust in God and trust in power (as he says later to Rev. Samuels, “Then God can go to Hell”).

“We are all your children, Silas.” This was a really alien sentiment–a line spoken from within a monarchist worldview, not a lib-dem one. You don’t see that often on TV from a sympathetic character.

“Show me you’re more than tank. …That you live for more than our deaths.” Taken on its face this is an incredibly maudlin speech. Taken as a speech to God–cast as a speech to enemy soldiers!–it’s honestly pretty incredible, and deeply in tune with the Christian faith. Wow. (Judah Halevi: “I love my enemies, for You are one of them.”)

Prosperity: David’s happiness at trading the port his father died for in order to have peace. I think that’s the only thing I really liked about this episode, although the pigeons were fun.

Not so much: I’m not feelin’ the butterflies at all. Really, show, butterflies?

I can think of at least fifteen different ways to play the Jonathan/David relationship in a way that would really speak to me. This show has found a sixteenth one which I can’t stand. The actual Bible story is much, much more poignant than this cliche. (I might feel slightly different if Stan could sell Jack Benjamin as a military leader, whose care for his troops is basic to his character. He hasn’t done that for me so far.)

I’m actually having a hard time articulating what I find wrong with this setup; there’s the obvious (setting aside power for love is perhaps the core element of Jonathan’s story, and if you start off showing me a whiny, resentful prince, I’ll have a hard time buying any future development toward the uncompromising awesomeness of Biblical Jonathan), there’s the gay (I’m really over media that gives me Tormented Pretty Gays to feel sorry for, and I feel gross about how popular that image has proven [especially among straight girls], for this show and in general), there’s the indifference to faith shown by both Jack and David. Mostly I just think what I said above: The actual Bible does this story a million times better.

Can the show win me over by portraying change in these characters? Yeah, maybe. If they don’t have Jack be all unrequited and piny about David (because we all know gay people have no non-eroticized same-sex friendships!), and they sell me on the characters’ spiritual growth… maybe. But right now I’m not seeing Jonathan and I’m definitely not seeing David. Can you honestly picture this demi-cute everyboy singing the 51st Psalm?