THE MADDEST STORY EVER TOLD! I watched Spider Baby (1968!) two nights ago and zomg, is this the best movie ever made?? Lon Chaney Jr. is the tenderhearted guardian of two We Have Always Lived in the Castle-style crazy chickadees and their manchild of a brother. Mayhem ensues when a conniving aunt arrives, lawyer in tow, to steal the family manse by having the kids committed. There is spider-, cat-, and person-eating. There is scream-queen lingerie. There is a theme song!!

Seriously, I adored every single minute of this. Like all the greatest camp, it knows when to add real poignancy–Chaney’s final speech to the kids apparently wrung tears from the crew on set–and the performances, especially from the blonde daughter, are amazing. She has this tilt-a-whirl smile that’s way too long for her face.

If Richard O’Brien has not seen this movie two hundred times I’ll be knocked down with a feather boa.

It’s available on Netflix Instant Viewing (though you can’t order it from them on dvd), so you have your assignment, people!