HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHNNY WEIR. Here, have a planet.

(Do I have any readers who love figure skating? I haven’t been posting about it because I have nothing to say other than things like, “Look, another amazing performance from Lucinda Ruh! Is she part-orchid or what?”, and similarly unprofessional flailing for various other skaters. But why not email me about your favorite programs etc? I’ll post links if you’ve got ’em.)