KITCHEN ADVENTURES: MONSTER MASH! …Not quite, but still: a couple demi-successes.

Not garlic bread: First I did my standard roasting-garlic method. Everyone has one. Most involve roasting an entire head after getting the papery casing off but not the thicker casing around each individual clove. I find that approach messy and fiddly, plus it makes way too much for a single squid. Instead, I set the oven to 375 (as always, you should play around with times and temperatures before blaming me for your failures!) and put some foil on a tray. I set out another square of foil. I peeled a bunch of big cloves, sliced off the ends, halved them, and removed the green stemmy things. (I hate those guys!) Then I set the halved cloves on the top foil square, drizzled with olive oil, scrunched up the foil around them, and let ’em bake. I waited a time period which can be described as either “ten minutes” or, more relevantly, “when I could just begin to hear them sizzling and smell their delectable scent.”

Then I took the pan out of the oven. I took about 1/4 of a baguette and sliced it lengthwise, and buttered it severely with this amazing sweet butter from the farmer’s market. (So expensive, but so worth it. I’m gradually compiling a list of things where the flavors don’t really improve enough to be worth it–milk [the Whole Foods whole milk is quite good and even cheaper than Safeway’s, so I’m going for price here], onions, garlic, jalapenos–vs. things where the market makes a difference I’m willing to pay for, like tomatoes, mushrooms, cucumbers, peaches, and butter.) Then I chopped most of a tomato and half a large jalapeno (see prior parenthesis for the origin stories of these items, which I’m sure fascinated you!) and piled that on top of the buttered bread, with some salt. All of that went on the foil and into the oven, along with the garlic, which would finish cooking.

Another 10? 15? minutes passed, and the toasts came out of the oven and got a light topping of grated parmesan. The garlic–which varied from “divinely perfect” to “…burnt,” unfortunately–also got shaken over the top. Once it had all cooled, I began to fill my face.

the verdict: tasty! Delicious, actually. My only regrets were a) no milk in the fridge to cut the intense heat–jalapenos vary a lot in amount of capsaicin, and this one was feisty–and b) that I didn’t get roasted garlic in each bite, as I’d hoped. But this was a pretty easy version of spicy loaded garlic bread, and I’d definitely do it again.

Not a plantain mash: Okay, so I bought a plantain. I was all excited about doing this dish where you prick the peel with a fork, roast the thing until it’s all soft and yummy, and then make it into a mashed fritter with various spices and veggies.

Then I got wary. By the time I actually approached the plantain to cook it, I was convinced this would be a disaster.

Good news: It wasn’t a disaster!

procedure: prick very ripe unpeeled plantain with a fork. Place on parchment paper and bake in oven at 425 for… ten minutes-ish-ish. Slice a medium yellow onion, chop a whole mess of garlic and the other half of that intense jalapeno, and when your plantain is ready, let it cool and then scoop out the flesh with a fork. Avoid the weird yellow jammy bit right up against the peel. (I still don’t know what that was all about, and I don’t think I want to.) Mash the plantain with the chopped veg and saute with garam masala, cinnamon, cumin, and some salt. Eat with Greek yogurt to cut the heat.

verdict: Interesting! I really didn’t like the task of prepping the plantain, I used too much olive oil in the saute pan, and some cilantro would definitely have helped here. But overall this was a good mix of sweet and spicy and vegetal, and my expectations were low so I was pleasantly surprised. I suspect many of you could make this dish better than I did.