PUBLIC FEARS IN PRIVATE PLACES: After that New York Times piece on me was published, the best and cattiest response I saw was the comments-box punchline, “She should join a silent order.” Perhaps the characters in Next Fall should also take that advice!

Next Fall–playing at the Round House Theater in Bethesda until 2/26–is a play in which the subtlety of what goes unspoken is almost drowned out by the shallow, stereotype-laden dialogue. It’s about a gay couple, generic atheistic Adam and blithely evangelical Luke; when Luke is involved in a serious car accident and falls into a coma, Adam has to deal with his parents, who never knew that their son was gay. (Luke at one point said that he would tell them “next fall,” when his younger brother was out of the house and in college, so the title of the play itself alludes to something unspoken, unaccomplished, something left unresolved due to fear.)

There are a lot of problems with the play, especially in the more cartoonish first act. I saw it with two friends, both of whom liked it more than I did; at the intermission I wondered out loud whether it would just be two hours of self-centered people feeling their emotions. They’re just all so American in the worst way!–they know that they’re right, and they’re proud of their opinions. I mean, look: This is the second play I’ve seen in a row in which not knowing the meaning of the word “tchotchke” marks a character out as gauche, clueless, and generally Not Our Kind, Dear.

Meanwhile the religious arguments seem to start and stop almost at random. The content will be familiar to anyone who has ever made the mistake of reading the comments: What about really nice people who aren’t Christian, do they go to hell? What about Jeffrey Dahmer, if he accepts Jesus will he be allowed into the pearly-gated community with respectable homos like Luke? Don’t we all have our own beliefs, what about the Jews, and–most poignantly, and least fleshed-out–isn’t it a sin for Luke to sleep with a man? The disputes themselves are so brief that they feel chintzy. Adam comes across like he’s constantly trying to pick a fight but never willing to finish one. Luke comes across like he thinks Jesus is magic, and if you just say you believe you can do whatever you want; but if you call him on any of the many ways he takes the easy way out, he gets upset (understandably, given how blatantly Adam is baiting him most of the time, but still!).

The key moment in their arguments might come when neither of them can sleep one night. Earlier, Luke had compared accepting Christ to taking a pill which could cure one’s cancer, and said that some people are so angry to have cancer in the first place that they’re not willing to just take the cure. So then later they’re sleepless and dejected, and Adam says that he’s going to take a sleeping pill. “Make it two,” Luke says. He reminds Adam of their earlier conversation and takes the pill, looking up hopefully at Adam–who looks back at him with total exhaustion and says, “If it were that easy, everyone would swallow it.” Adam walks back into the bedroom with the pill still in his hand.

More interesting than the spoken arguments, though, are the character notes which go unmarked. For example, there’s Brandon, a repressed Christian. (He only wears tightly buttoned-up clothing, because why even have a costumer if you don’t want obvious metaphors?) He doesn’t say much, and in his one big scene, a lot of what he does say is just exasperatedly agreeing with the words Adam puts in his mouth. But he’s there. He’s a constant presence in the hospital waiting room, steadfast, quiet, immovable. There’s a solidity to him, a doggedness which is manifested both in his blunt, unimaginative dogmatism and in his silent loyalty. (He’s played by the really excellent Alexander Strain, whom I saw as Spinoza in this play. He’ll be reprising that role this season!)

All the play’s religious questions are framed in terms of the afterlife: Is there a Heaven? Will I get there, will you? I’ve already written about why this is not a good way to understand Christian life! But it does draw out the deep undercurrents of fear which run through the play. Luke is creepily cheerful, and professes not to fear death at all; Adam longs for that fearlessness. In day to day life Luke is terrified that his parents will find out about his relationship with Adam, and at night he’s sometimes haunted enough that he will pray after they have sex, but he still manages to project a sense of sunny confidence which the neurotic, hypochondriac Adam picks up on. Their relationship makes Adam a bit more free and less fearful, even as it causes Luke anxiety.

I like a lot of things about this setup. I like that faith doesn’t actually free Luke from fear or distress–it changes his questions and challenges, so it changes when he feels fear and why. I like the framing of Christian faith as hospital and cure, something you can only receive if you’re willing to admit that you’re sick, and I like that Adam the hypochondriac is deeply resistant to admitting any spiritual neediness or infirmity. (Luke’s evangelical parents are recovering addicts; his mother Arlene, thoroughly inhabited by the terrific Kathryn Kelley, was the only character I genuinely liked. Even if she doesn’t know what a tchotchke is!) I like the suggestion that Christ the rock can give inherently weak and silly people some depth, solidity, and insight.

I just wish any of that had been pushed to its limits! I want to see Luke’s faith get really tested, not just harried. I want any backstory whatsoever for Adam, whose background is basically a cardboard cutout labeled, “White gay man who came of age in the ’80s.” Overall it felt like this play pulled all its punches because the playwright didn’t know how to portray more intense religious conflict or more uniquely-articulated faith. So all the characters’ religious beliefs seemed to deflate to the level of their self-comforting American emotions, rather than their emotions rising to the level of the exalting or devastating Christian faith.