Just really important for people who care about this stuff.
Also adds some complexity to Wesley Hill’s (quite good) post about Christian sexual ethics and “dazzling the pagan eye“–there’s a lot of suffering, confusion, loss, anger, and frustration that comes with Christian sexual discipline (even if you don’t accept e.g. the Catholic teaching on contraception). That can be dazzling in its own way–e.g. you might see our solidarity in different forms of suffering, or in the way we wrestle with teachings we have no idea how to bear.
So this is the post where I’m promising answers, and I need to be very clear up front: I don’t have them. If you find that you are backed into a corner with no way out, you feel powerless and depressed, long stretches of abstinence are setting you and your spouse at each other’s throats, every time you give up in desperation and “cheat” with your spouse you feel suicidally guilty, you hate your fertility your body and your chart, and you’re starting to consider just getting pregnant so that it will be over, even though you know that’s an unbelievably stupid thing to do – I understand. I’ve been there. But I don’t know what you should do.
Here’s what I do know: this isn’t okay.