IN THE DESERT, MAYBE YOU CAN REMEMBER YOUR NAME!: Seven silver linings for right-wingers.

#1: Your hangover will go away eventually. I suggest sports drinks if you can (I never can), Tylenol, and sleep. Tomato soup, esp. w/curry powder, might help. Cancel all your appointments except those with the Porcelain God and/or the confessional.

#2: A big-government candidate who thinks the First Amendment is really more of a suggestion lost!

…To another big-government candidate who etc etc. But hey,

#3: The Fairness Doctrine won’t apply to blogs!

#4: No, for real though, the daughter of a slave voted for a black President. There aren’t words to convey how amazing that is. God bless America, for real.

#5: The candidate who flip-flopped on torture (despite his amazing personal story and general staunchness on this issue) because the Republicans decided to go bats crazy lost.

#6: Just remember, we’re the party that believes in the necessity and meaning of suffering–and especially humiliation. So really, we win again! Offer this $#@! up, y’all.

#7: Conservatism is inherently a tradition of complicity, satire, internal conflict, and cynicism. So with the Messiah as our next president, we’re in like Patricia Quinn!