I CAN’T HELP IT. I did like “Dangerous Liaisons,” but it didn’t leave me as helpless to the power of its AWESOME as “Cruel Intentions.” John Malkovich is a better actor than anyone in “CI” (though Ryan Philippe was fun–yeah, I said it), and the half-updated half-outdated dialogue didn’t really work, and I’m two hundred percent over closing scenes where bitchy women get humiliated–and even so, all I can say is that this movie was ace.

…I can’t tell if Catherine was supposed to be sympathetic or if I’m just completely wrong in the head.