“Hi. I’m, uh, I’m a pet psychiatrist. I sell couch insurance. Mm-hmm, and I — and I test-market positive thinking. I lead a weekend men’s group, we specialize in ritual killings. Yeah, you look great! God, yeah! Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Hi, I’m Martin Blank, you remember me? I’m not married, I don’t have any kids, and I’d blow your head off if someone paid me enough.” –John Cusack to mirror, “Grosse Pointe Blank” Read more

NEW CONTESTS: ELVIS LIVES. Two new contests, because the first one is likely to be somewhat, ah, insular. 1) Elvis Costello contest. The only rule is: Make me laugh, with something in some way related to an Elvis Costello song or lyric. (Not the man himself, mind, just song titles or lyrics, mostly because I think the contest will be funnier this way.) How-many-x’s-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb jokes; fake blogs; limericks; drink recipes; devil’s dictionary entries; If Elvis Were Morrissey; Elvis Costello as... Read more

CONTEST RESULTS!!!!: As Lt. Uhura would say (if she had been transported to the evil mirror-universe and had to fight off the advances of a dashingly scarfaced Sulu… again), “I’ve changed my mind–again.” You get the contest results now. Your task was to suitably sanitize works of literature for use on the NY Regents exams. THIRD PLACE: (Five-way tie; first four from Roy A. Sheetz) Moby. Thus Suggested Zarathustra. One Bible Among Others. Ethics That Worked for Nichomachus And You... Read more

VOUCHERS: So I’m feeling really lousy, and plan to knock off work at five and spend the evening lying in bed moaning, instead of doing all the fun posting I had planned. When I a) recover and b) get enough work done, expect posts on celibacy and pacifism; surrogate motherhood; Shakespeare; contest results (really); a new contest; and fandom. I’m not promising anything in the way of timelines because, like I said, I feel lousy, and I have many phone... Read more

MALVEAUX AND ME: So apparently Julianne Malveaux will not be celebrating on Thursday. Instead, she will be angrily reading Frederick Douglass’s “What to the Slave Is the Fourth of July?” That’s actually kind of cool. So I think I’ll re-read the essay too. And then I’ll go watch fireworks on the Mall (whatever, terrorists, talk to the finger ’cause the hand ain’t listening) with the sons of former slaves, and the sons of former Slavs, and assorted whatnot; and I’ll... Read more

AND THEY’LL SOON BE KNOCKING DOWN THE LITTLE PALACES: So last night I went to the grocery store. Heard that “Let’s Get Married” song that Kaus claims is a sign of the victory of welfare reform. Got into the checkout line. Heard a very familiar voice on the radio, slurring over the “t”s in “sentimental,” and aspirating all his vowels. Oh Allison, I know this world is killing you… Then hoisted the groceries and schlepped to the bus stop. The... Read more

“Funny, how gentle people get with you once you’re dead.” –William Holden, “Sunset Blvd.” Read more

VERY COOL POST FROM ONO EKEH on Mary and the Eucharist. Read more

TELFORD WORK RESPONDS. I will mull and post more tomorrow or Wednesday. Read more

GOOD ARTICLE ON THE DEATH PENALTY here. Diligently sorts theological from prudential claims, and gets into the gritty facts in order to give us some information about those prudential claims. A few scattered thoughts: Harrington writes, “Prudentially, the evidence is far from convincing that American prisons are up to the task of protecting the safety of persons.” He doesn’t go on to say (though I have no reason to believe he disagrees with this) that if he is correct in... Read more