“An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As We Know It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal Form, more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or Unbalanced Balance.” –Principia Discordia, page 00018
Today (July 15) is Confuflux, the 50th day of the Season of Confusion, which is distinguished from the other Discordian Holydays by being the hardest to pronounce. Other than that, we’ve got ourselves another vague Discordian feast day, with no venerable guidance from our Founding Fathers as to how we’re supposed to celebrate it.
If you ever establish your own religion, seriously, save your future disciples a headache and publish little pamphlets or something about the holidays. This is my advice to you.
Creative Disorder While U Wait
In the spirit of Confusion, I’d planned to write about Operation Mindfuck, since it’s such an essential Discordian conspiracy. But in order to do that, we’d have to delve into The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea, and I… um… never actually finished reading it. (DON’T YELL AT ME, OTHER DISCORDIANS. IT’S 805 PAGES AND I HAVE TIME MANAGEMENT ISSUES.)
So here’s what we’re doing instead: In order to generate some sacred confusion (and with a little help from my friend Chester), I made a bot write a post about Confulux for me.
Let’s see what it had to say. Fnord!
Confuflux is a Celebration of Confusion
In these times of ever-growing awareness, we are often left feeling more confused than ever. Confuflux is a celebration of this confusion because it is in those moments that the soul feels most alive and separate from the rest.
Confuflux takes place on the last day of every month, at midnight, where everyone will aim to do at least one thing that they have never done before. This event will have no boundaries and allow for you to take part in any activity whatsoever. And most importantly, there shall be no judgment or competition during this collaboration of confusion where we acknowledge all forms of individuality without discrimination or judgment.
This will be a night where the Confuflux will be celebrated and the Confuflux will be found, wherever it may be.
Confuflux is an experiment where we can all celebrate that which is understood, as well as that which is not. Confuflux is a celebration of the gap between what society deems ‘normal’ and the things we wish to explore further within ourselves and with our own boundaries. Confuflux is an event where we can celebrate our differences; it’s not about joining together to become one, but rather being apart to understand better how one feels, acts, or performs. This event celebrates that we are all different yet have similar-feeling values, ideas, or motivations.
Confuflux is a movement for motivation, and motivation is found in the gap between two extremes. Yes, there will be some people taking part in this experiment who are not motivated; however, they are invited to participate because, without them, this event would only be motivated by the “contrary.”
The Confuflux Manifesto is a paradox. By its very nature, it will be confusing to people. They will read it, interpret it, respond to it, and think about what they think I mean by it. What is clear is that you will be required to be at least 18 years old. You must also have a working mobile phone.
Or if you want to decide later, then come to one of the events. There will be no refunds given for not attending.
At midnight on the last day of every month, ‘motivated’ people will meet at 12 different locations around Australia to celebrate their differences by doing something they’ve never done before. These locations will change every month, so we encourage you to come to any or all of them, however you can. A free bar and a few snacks will be provided at all of the locations.
The next event will be held at 6:12 a.m. on April 3rd, 2009. The locations will not be announced until the night before. They are always in public places. They are always in areas with a minimum of 15 people per square kilometre. It is important that there is a health and safety officer present at each location. The public location will always be where people can see what’s happening.
Please take a moment to read the manifesto itself.
Okay. So it kind of disintegrated towards the end, and the dates and times are a mess, but all things considered… I mean, wow, yeah, the bot was pretty spot-on. One section in particular really stood out to me, though:
Confuflux is an event where we can celebrate our differences; it’s not about joining together to become one, but rather being apart to understand better how one feels, acts, or performs.
Malaclypse the Younger once affirmed, “We Discordians must stick apart,” meaning that we revel in our differences and find unity in diversity; that we don’t all have to do things the same way; that none of us have to be wrong in order for any of us to be right; and that there’s nothing wrong with being wrong in the first place. And I think it’s sort of unsettlingly cool that the bot somehow managed to pick up on that.
I don’t know if this is an example of Infinite Monkey Theorem, or if the bot ran a Web search and tossed an abstract together, or if Eris was just feeling cheeky. Regardless, my attempt to spread befuddlement resulted in a bit of enlightenment, and I am appropriately confused as to how that happened.
Unless this whole thing was a setup, and the “bot” was actually one of the Illuminati.
If so, I wonder if Chester is in on it.
I might need to make some phone calls.