One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. –Friedrich Nietzsche
Happy Discordian New Year! It’s the fifth day of Chaos — the first season of the Discordian calendar — and so we celebrate Mungday, the Holyday of the Apostle Hung Mung.
Hung Mung (sometimes transliterated as Hung Meng or Hong Meng) carries the distinction of being the only Apostle to verifiably exist outside of Discordianism. In Taoist creation stories, Hung Mung represents the primordial world, and he is often depicted responding to philosophical questions by laughing, slapping his knee (or buttock, depending on the translation) and shouting, “I do not know!”
His name is also a play on words with several meanings. These include (and I promise I am not making any of them up) “Vast Mist,” “Mists of Chaos,” “Vast Obscurity,” “Big Concealment,” and “Big Goose Dummy.”
Hung Mung is only mentioned a couple of times in the Principia Discordia, but he is credited with devising the Sacred Chao, which is up there with the Hand of Eris as one of the most recognizable symbols of Discordianism. Page 00049 of the Principia explains the significance of the Chao.
THE SACRED CHAO is the key to illumination… it was modified and popularized by the Taoists and is sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the Taoists. It is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON which symbolizes the ANERISTIC PRINCIPLE, and instead of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.
The Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever know about absolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes everything not worth knowing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge.
We get redundant additional information on the Chao on page 00050:
The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia, which represents the Eristic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it, “KALLISTI” is Greek for “TO THE PRETTIEST ONE” and refers to an old myth about The Goddess. But the Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, and thought it to be a negative principle.
The Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and symbolizes the HODGE. The Pentagon has several references; for one, it can be taken to represent geometry, one of the earliest studies of formal order to reach elaborate development; for another, it specifically accords with THE LAW OF FIVES.
It is also the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the Pentagon Building, a most pregnant manifestation of straightjacket order resting on a firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into dazzling disorder; and this building is one of our more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the generic symbol for werewolves, but this reference is not particularly intended and it should be noted that the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against werewolves — our membership roster is open to persons of all races, national origins and hobbies.
To sum up:
- The Pentagon/Hodge represents Apparent Order.
- The Apple/Podge represents Apparent Disorder.
- The two together represent pure Chaos.
- Werewolves are people too.
Documented Mungday customs include laughing maniacally at inappropriate moments, ritualistically slapping one’s knees and/or buttocks, and ripping off other people’s ideas. I do not know enough about Chinese mythology to understand how geese fully tie into Taoism, but in honor of Hung Mung, I’m going to go over to Chester’s place and play Untitled Goose Game for a few hours.
In the world of computing, “mung” is jargon for making repeated changes to a file, resulting in unintentional but irreversible destruction. So if you’re handy with coding, you can celebrate Mungday by “accidentally” crashing computers, then calling your company’s IT department and yelling, “I don’t know!” every time they ask you what happened.
And, of course, anything you can do to wreak havoc for Greyface is highly encouraged today, especially if your tactics involve faux naivete, maintaining your innocence in the wake of his frustrations. If you’re old enough to remember Family Matters, picture Greyface as Carl and yourself as Urkel, standing amidst the smoking remains of the Winslow kitchen and asking contritely, “Did I do that?”
So, hey! With this post completed, we have duly met all of the Discordian Apostles, and we’ve learned what energies and instrumentalities they bring to Discordianism:
- Hung Mung – Taoism
- Dr. Van Van Mojo – Witchcraft and Diasporic Religions
- Sri Syadasti – Hinduism
- Zarathud – Ceremonial Magic
- Malaclypse the Elder – Abrahamic Religions
And now that we’re familiar with all five, we can get ambitious and take a shot at summoning them.
The Discordian Opening Ritual
The Opening Ritual was written by Prince Prance (who may or may not be Phil Hine — if anything, the ritual first appeared in Hine’s chapbook Oven-Ready Chaos). Much like the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, it can be used as part of a circle casting, or incorporated into a meditational practice. Or you can do it when you’re in the express lane and the person in front of you has more than 15 items in their cart. I’m just saying you have options.
Here are the steps to the rite:
Clap five times.
Make the sign of the Erisian Cross while saying, “Light in my head, fire in my genitals, strength at my right side, laughter at my left side, love in my heart.”
Trace Spiral Pentagrams at the four quarters and zenith. [See Oven-Ready Chaos for more info on Spiral Pentagrams. Regular invoking Pentagrams will also work. Use either your finger or the ritual tool of your choice; mine is a paddle.]
Face East and say, “Blessed Apostle Hung Mung, great Sage of Cathay, Balance the Hodge and Podge and grant us equilibrium.”
Face South and say, “Blessed Apostle Van Van Mojo, Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, Give us the Voodoo Power and confuse our enemies.”
Face West and say, “Blessed Apostle Sri Syadasti, patron of psychedelia, Teach us the relative truth and blow our minds.”
Face North and say, “Blessed Apostle Zarathud, hard-nosed hermit, Grant us the Erisian doubt, and the constancy of Chaos.”
Look up (or down) and say, “Blessed Apostle Malaclypse, Elder Saint of Discordia, Grant us illumination and protect us from stupidity. “
Look all over the place and say, “Great Goddess Discordia, Holy Mother Eris, Joy of the Universe, Laughter of Space, Grant us Life, Light, Love and Liberty and make the bloody magick work!”
And that’s it! You’re all set to dive into some Discordian Witchcraft and/or Chaos Magic. Just do yourself a solid and ground afterwards. And definitely let me know what happens.
Discordian Fun Fact
The dwarf planet Eris was discovered on Mungday 2005 by Mike Brown, Chad Trujillo, and David Rabinowitz, marking the official recognition of the physical presence of Our Lady of Discord in the universe.
While it’s not Discordian canon, and pentagons don’t represent werewolves in our religion, I feel like anyone cursed with lycanthropy should be allowed to turn into a wolf tonight under the light of Eris, regardless of the phase of the moon. As a treat.
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