10 Things I’d Rather Do Than See The New Left Behind Movie

10 Things I’d Rather Do Than See The New Left Behind Movie June 6, 2014

If you haven’t already seen it, the trailer for the new Left Behind movie is out! (See bottom of post). Folks have been asking if I’m looking forward to seeing and reviewing the movie, so I decided to be completely honest and let you know how I actually feel about this situation:


10 things I’d rather do than see the new Left Behind movie


10. I’d rather take a picture of my shoes while standing here:

Yes, this dude is standing on top of the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. If you find me here, it’s only because I was faced with two choices: stand on top of the building, or watch the movie.

9. I’d rather head on over to the DMV to get my license renewed.

And when I’d go, I’d hold the door open to let the five people from behind me jump ahead. I’m thoughtful like that. I could always download some episodes of 19 Kids and Counting to my iPad to pass the time.

8. I’d rather go cave diving.

As much as it pains me to admit it, this one is a tough call. Cave diving might be cool and all when watching the Discovery Chanel, but yikes… just the thought of it almost makes me suffocate. But when forced to pick between this and watching the movie? I’ll go with diving.

7. I’d rather attend the 22nd annual pre-trib rapture study group conference.

Yes, the conference is a real thing. It’s in Irving, Texas this year (yipppee!) and you can reserve your spot, here. Why watch the movie when you can be around people who live and breathe it in real life?

6. I’d rather open a business training feral cats.

Let’s just say, I’d rather be staring at this face than Nicolas Cage.

5. I’d rather try to convince my wife she should get this year’s bathing suit from “Cover Up For Christ

This one wouldn’t be too immodest, would it? Hopefully they can alter it to be a little bit longer.

4. I’d rather try out that venomous ant initiation ceremony.

They say it actually makes you have some cool hallucinations, and it’s not even illegal, so why not?

3. I’d rather become a missionary to Vanuatu and be initiated like this:

Why go bungee jumping when you can try the real thing that lets your head hit the ground when you land?

2. I’d rather get a Kim Jong-un haircut.

Side note: for some reason, every time I see Kim Jong-un, I imagine that he has the voice of Cartman.

1. I’d rather get a job working for Dave Ramsey.

Yup, I’d rather work for the dude who is completely losing his mind. If you’ve missed it, my friend Matthew Paul Turner has an excellent piece that will open your eyes.


So, yeah– those are ten things off the top of my mind that I’d rather do than see this new Left Behind movie. But alas, I will still go see it– but only because I am dedicated to my work. However, I can’t promise that I won’t sneak a flask into the movie theater with me.

Here’s the trailer to the movie in case you’ve missed it:

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