When our daughter first came out to us, we had a problem on our hands. Our conservative church tradition does not allow what they would call “gayness.” What do we do with this? Do we talk about our gay daughter? Do we pretend she is not gay? Pretend she doesn’t exist? None of it fit with the abiding life of Christ. We were in trouble. That’s how I learned the depths of the dilemma so many, evangelical, or fundamentalist parents... Read more
Anti-transgender bathroom bills? Anti-LGBTQ discrimination efforts? To ignore or minimize others’ suffering goes against the very heart of the gospel that non-affirming Christians claim to uphold even as they denigrate those they disagree with. “Love God and love others.” “Treat others as you want to be treated.” “Love is patient, kind, and forbearing.” How can non-affirming Christians continue to ignore that? I want to share with you the story of a man who lives in New York City. He is... Read more
Kim Davis is not a martyr. She is more like the bus driver than Rosa Parks. Can a waitress take a paycheck for working at Red Lobster and then refuse to serve shellfish? Can a member of the military take a paycheck from the government and then say they will not fight? Can Kim Davis take a paycheck to issue marriage licenses and then pick and choose who she will and won’t do that job for? The answer to all... Read more
The church is changing. The truth of Jesus is being disentangled from the behavior-focused, non-affirming religion that often just uses Jesus as a mascot. And this is a major threat to the box-church that tries to stay sealed up tight – even when everyone on the outside of the box can see how different they are from the Jesus they claim to follow. The truth of God is winning out over false interpretations and our understanding of what Christianity really... Read more
Parents, their LGBTQ children, the church… what happens when their hearts are freed from hate and condemnation and fear? For a parent of an LGBTQ child, their heart is freed when they can unconditionally love, accept and affirm their child without feeling that they have sacrificed their faith. For someone who is LGBTQ, their heart is freed when they come to know in the deepest places of their soul that they are absolutely unconditionally loved by God, as they are,... Read more
I was heartsick that a Pastor – claiming to speak for God – called his Christian teenage son ‘disgraceful, demon-possessed poison.’ Many of you have been called words like this – by strangers, friends, people in your church, family, and maybe even your Dad too. And you carry deeper wounds than anyone even knows. Well, this Mom wants to tell you a few things. I have five grown children, three girls and two boys – including two queer (their word)... Read more
I am upsetting people. They respond by blocking and banning us — “in Jesus’ name.” I have to wonder: what are they afraid of? At the same time, I am hearing from more parents, more LGBTQ people, and more church leaders than ever. We are seeing Christian parents’ hearts freed to love, accept and affirm their gay child without sacrificing their faith; we are seeing those children’s hearts freed from parent, church and community wounds; and we are seeing churches... Read more
I came from a conservative evangelical background and was turned away from church, family members and friends because I love and affirm my LGBTQ child. Most of the Moms in my secret, private Facebook groups have the same story. As a result, some of us have become quite liberal politically – believe me, it can be hard to stay with a group actively fighting against your child. Others remain conservative. Though we are in complete agreement about defending our kids... Read more
Your child is gay. Your love for your child seems to somehow conflict with your faith – at least according to what you may hear from church and Christian friends. How is that possible? Many voices tell you that your child needs ‘tough love’, needs to be ‘confronted in their sin’, maybe even needs to be kicked out of the house. But your heart screams in confusion – doing that just doesn’t make sense. Like it or not, you are... Read more
My social media has been burning up with opinions ever since the court ruling on Marriage Equality. Yours too? The opinions won’t change things; it is now the law of the land. But perhaps opinions can change how we receive Marriage Equality, how we engage with LGBTQ people about it, how we engage in loving as Christ told his followers to love. The Bible is not trail mix from which we pick and choose. So what is it? How do... Read more
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