I am so sorry. And I am so thankful. First, please let me say that it is an honor and a privilege to be your parent. I could not have asked for a better child. I am sorry if I ever did or said anything, or failed to do or say something to let you know how much I love and accept you. I am also so very sorry for the hurt and rejection and condemnation you have felt from... Read more
I recently heard from yet another Christian mom whose daughter was rejected by their extended family. They had rallied around in love and sacrifice to accommodate the significant physical challenge she was born with, but when she revealed her same-sex attraction, their unconditional love became, well, conditional. We love you – but we cannot accept this about you. We love you – but you must change. All the sacrifice required to love her in her physical requirements vanished when it came... Read more
My dear friend Linda Robertson posted this morning about the pain she experienced in church following their son Ryan’s death. She poured her heart out about all the things people do and say: from walking away when they see you coming, to asking if you’re better yet two weeks after the death, to saying Ryan wouldn’t have wanted you to be sad. I thought as I read it how hurtful people can be instead of offering comfort when we need... Read more
I am thrilled to announce that I will be the featured speaker at two upcoming PFLAG meetings. What an honor! First, I will be speaking at the PFLAG meeting on Thursday evening, August 15th, in Jacksonville, FL. For more information on this event, please click here. Then, I will be speaking at the PFLAG meeting on Sunday afternoon, August 18th, in Atlanta, GA. For more information on this event, please click here. I will speak on resolving the unique tension... Read more
Coming out for anyone can be scary, because you can’t really say, “Just kidding!” if someone goes ballistic. Becca took a courageous step to come out to her sister away at college and was quite relieved at her loving response. Because they had been reading my blogs, they shared their conversation with me and then kindly gave me permission to post it. Of course not all responses will be so supportive — people have to measure their own situation for... Read more
What happens when the church or society decides that something in your life is now a “particularly evil sin?” What happens when they come for you? We have been evangelicals for 24 years — last weekend we visited an open and affirming church in Austin. I was struck by the immediate kindness, compassion and intimacy we experienced from everyone. Fellow worshipers, pastors, staff were genuine and real and honest. From their hearts flowed overwhelming peace. How different this was from... Read more
Your child is gay. Do not be afraid; it’s going to be alright. In fact, it will be amazing! Your world feels shaky but I encourage you to relax. It’s not just going to be okay, it will be better than okay. Your child is gay, or bi, or trans, but that’s not all. Your child is so much more. Your child is courageous to follow their heart in the face of incredible condemnation. Your child is daring to be... Read more
Remember the story of “Jesus Scattering Townspeople and Self-Righteous Men in the Name of Mercy and Justice”? Oh right, you may know it as, “The Woman Caught in Adultery.” I love that Jesus instantly knew the hearts of everyone involved. I love how Jesus never falls for any of it. I love that He lets her go! It seems we rarely marvel at the whole picture of what is going on here. Instead – out of the entire story –... Read more
Shame. It says, “There is something fundamentally wrong with me.” It is the lie at the very root of our identity. If I did something wrong, I can apologize and make amends. But if I am fundamentally wrong, what hope do I have? Our greatest need is to be loved, to belong, to be accepted as we are. Shame says the exact opposite – that we do not fit in, are not acceptable as is and, fundamentally, are not lovable.... Read more
“I wasn’t allowed to go to the fair,” he told me, “because I had become a Christian. My mother said, ‘Christians don’t go to the fair.’ But since my brother Bill was not a Christian, he was allowed to go.” What? This was Jim’s explanation — after I’d shared my faith with him — of his apathy toward anything faith-related. This was the taste in his mouth about Jesus. Somewhere along the way (youth group, pastor, friend) he heard this... Read more
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