Celebrating a 20 year Lesbian Marriage in Christ

Celebrating a 20 year Lesbian Marriage in Christ August 17, 2019

CelebratingCelebrating our Love

I know, most people don’t think about the fact that two women could love one another so deeply that they call each other “my perfect” or “beautiful girl”, but we do. We are celebrating our anniversary this month. I’m hoping that by sharing a little with you about our endearing love and how satisfying that love is, perhaps I can touch your heart. That’s what love is all about, isn’t it? We both have a solid belief in God and practice loving our creator and the creation.

Celebrating our Moment

The first moment I saw her is burned into my heart with such a vivid picture. She was sitting on the carpet, her long legs covered in her favorite holy Levi’s that were stonewashed. She had her Jesus sandals on, that’s what I often called them to tease her. The Irish in me likes to tease, so much like my father before me. I looked at that oval face, high forehead, accented by deep brown eyes and curly soft brown hair, and my heart said yes. The Christian I proposed to be didn’t hear it then.

Celebrating our Friendship

I didn’t know that I was looking at my best friend when I first met her, but it didn’t take us long to figure that out. There was a night that we stood in the yard of her parents house and looked at the stars. The sky seemed to go on forever that night with possibilities of the future. Even though she didn’t talk that much back then, I had enough to say for the both of us. Both of us religious zealots, we were clueless of the relationship that was building.

Celebrating our JourneyCelebrating

When I headed to Florida, it didn’t take her long to come down. I took walks with her almost every night after she arrived. Most of the time I talked, and she listened, but I was trying to get her to open up. Ashley was a woman who didn’t often speak, so when she did say something, people listened to her. Her conversations were simplified, which kept her under the radar, where she was used to living. The love I had developed for her was focused on drawing her out and getting to know the real “her”. I was “loving her to life”. I thought I was doing “ministry” but I was actually falling in love.

Celebrating our Memories

We sat down along the street from our house. In Florida, little fire ants that can cause a world of hurt in seconds, but we sat down by a fence in the darkness to look at the night sky. On that night, at that moment, I had the urge to hear Ashley say something without fear of me judging what she might say. I asked her to look up at the stars and give me one word to describe them, one. It took forever, and my patience was beginning to wear thin, but I waited for her. Somewhere deep inside, Ashley breathed in and said one word, “glimmering”. That moment was a new beginning.

Celebrating Celebrating our Travels

We then moved to Virginia and experienced another test of our relationship. After we became established, circumstances took me back to Michigan. Ashley was trapped in a lease for about six more months, so she had to stay. Both of us grew during this time, as separation will do for you. I missed her terribly but we talked often. We had learned to communicate in such a variety of ways. There were cards, letters, gifts, pages on pagers, and then texts. There was still an incredible connection, but we kept it centered around our Christianity.

Celebrating our Connection

In Michigan there were more trials, but when Ashley came back from Virginia, it made my life much more bearable. She bought her own home there, and we worked together on building a community of believers. She was our worship leader, and we maintained our best friendship. Whenever Ashley wasn’t at work, we were together most of that time. Life was good as ministry goes but still something was missing that I couldn’t acknowledge. Our friendship continued to flourish. At no time during those years did I ever allow myself to acknowledge my attraction to her. Ashley focused on her faith as well, which committed us to stay the course in ministry.

Celebrating our Faith

For us, there was no question at the time, being gay was a “sin”. When you are indoctrinated and sell the same bill of goods to others, you sell out. 


When your belief won’t allow you to accept what’s right in front of you, considering the truth is something you will not allow. Call it, “Blind Faith” or ignorance, we both were committed to being “unconsciously” heterosexual. Over the years, doors began to open to allow us to consider that we were wrong about homosexuality. I’m so glad we did.

Celebrating our Longevity

Through all the years, the tragedies and triumphs, Ashley and I have stayed best friends. When we went through the deconstruction and reconstruction of our faith, it brought us even closer. Understanding that helped us to see the great love that has evolved between us. Yesterday, we worked on putting together the best beef stew ever. My wife peeled potatoes and I seared the beef. We put it all together in our new Instant Pot (my wife’s anniversary present to us) and relished in how wonderful it turned out. What a good day to remind us of our twenty year legacy.

Celebrating our Story

Ashley and I plan to grow old together, dance together, care for each other and live life on our own terms. We still believe in a God who loves us unconditionally, which means more than Christianity told us. We learned that love without limits has no “buts” when it comes to our love for one another. This is the best time of my life, a love story for the ages. The God I grew up with and served with all my heart revealed a deeper depth of love to me through my wife than I have ever known. Here’s to another twenty with my beloved.

Available publications by PK Langley

PK’s Fine Art Store where you can find many of the Frustrated Grace Prints.


PK writes short stories about life. They are in the form of ebooks for $1.37 each. Get them here.


Religious Deconstruction, The Frustrated Grace Series is now available, with over two hundred comic images on Amazon. You can get a preview of every single one here.

All Things Equal,  is an exposition for women and how God

sees them from a very “biblical” point of view. It was what I needed in my first push toward deconstruction. Get it here.

Deconstruction tools

LangleyTown.com has a specific page for materials that will help you with your deconstruction. I recommend eighty books or more that you can read. Some I have read, others have come recommended by friends along the way. Find them here.

PK Langley’s most Popular Blog Posts!

I Quit Church And I’m Happy About It




God Made Me Gay


Straight Pride?




Check out, Paradigm shift to Spirit led living.

Read, “When the Good News Goes Bad” by clicking here.


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • FrustratedGrace


    After twenty years, I beg to differ. I think you are dead wrong, judgmental and unkind. You have your opinion, although you don’t know what queer means..lol PK

  • FrustratedGrace

    Fractal, Thanks so much. We are no longer involved in Christianity, though we call the spirit within “Christ” for lack of a better definition. We believe in a creator and love. Thanks so much. How about you? PK

  • Such a great story of love. Two people who love God, love one another and are committed to each other. Going through life supporting and encouraging each other and showing the love of God to those they meet. What more could you ask for? Thanks for sharing.

  • fractal

    Raised fundy Catholic in the 50’s and 60’s.
    Never fit in; gender non-conforming and demanding answers to all sorts of feminist questions that sounded kooky to the Conformist Generation.

    Was born again with the Woodstock generation.
    Took a deep dive into Eastern Philosophy and it really opened my eyes and heart. Realized I’d had several mystical experiences as a child and knew that was what I was after—Grace flooding thru my body and soul and showing me vibrant dimensions offering wisdom, solace and a centered joy.

    I know, it sounds saccharine.
    Guess you just have to be there…

    Anyway, I see the Abrahamic Triad as impossibly sexist, and downright damaging in its stubborn refusal to have a Female Icon of Goddess.
    Both men and women badly need to feel the qualities of Womanly Divinity. Patriarchy has left us unbalanced and unstable; it has permeated our Spirituality to the detriment of our culture.

    We can Say we “understand” that God is genderless; but really, every icon, every pronoun, every interaction in the Abrahamic Holy Books belies that notion.
    Rather than try to slug thru the muck of holy misogyny, I opine that people should internally develop their own relationship with the Feminine Principle of Goddess.

    And while we are bashing stale icons—how about we grow up and think in terms of a Romantic relationship with God/dess, instead of a hierarchical Parental relationship?
    The Sufi poets sure write some groovy poetry in that vein…
    “God is Love, Lover and Beloved.”

  • Sandy Eden

    This is it, yes ^^^

  • FrustratedGrace

    Sandy, Thank you. PK

  • Questioning

    Brilliant Rou…. how long did it take you to come to that conclusion?

    BTW… so will your judgmental, hateful, pitiful, pithy existence. You really would be happier loving people rather than hating them.