God Made Me Gay
Whenever I say, “God made me gay” it is a provocation of those who hold prejudice toward my “kind”. I have said it on Facebook and an explosion of judgmental criticism erupted. It offends those whose religion has taught them that who I am and consequently what I do is a “sin”. Ignorance is often the root cause of their revulsion. I am saddened by this, but their “choice” to believe belongs to them and I honor that. I will not interfere with their choice.
They tell me that I chose to be gay. Does that mean that ever woman grows up liking girls too? Do women have sexual thoughts about girls, and they “choose” to be with men? Do all men actually pine away to make love to men, and they “choose” to be with women? If I chose to be gay, then perhaps that is something that everyone does and I didn’t know about it? Should that be a comfort to me somehow? I am not sure.
I was a tom boy growing up and I don’t recall lusting after women. There were secrets that were shared with my girlfriends that made me feel so much closer to them. I remember feeling far more friendly toward boys than attracted. I recall seeing Jodi Foster and Joe on, “The Facts of Life” on my television and being enamored of them. Strong female roles inspired me deeply. Men were a curiosity for me and I honestly didn’t mind them so much.
It’s The Sex
Many people that object to homosexuality do so because the thought of two women or two men having sexual relations is appalling to them. It should be appalling to you if you are a heterosexual. I have heard some gays express the same revulsion when they even ponder the thought of heterosexual sex. I remember seeing black and white commercials that aired long ago that said that all male homosexuals were perverts that people would have to hide their children from.
More Than Sex
The relationship that one has with another is so much more than a sexual union. Intimacy is important in a relationship but two individuals that simply have lust and sin in common does not last. Just like a heterosexual relationship, the intimacy part in a gay relationship changes as we age. My wife and I spend much more time enjoying one another’s company than pining after each other sexually.
This is what happens with prejudice and tradition. It is passed on in ignorance and perpetuated by fear and superstition. The Nazi’s pointed out that Jews had “big noses”, and that they “delighted in stealing German money”. The Jews were good stewards and businessmen. When prejudice rises, it groups people and stereotypes them. It’s a way to dehumanize people. If you do not think of someone as a person, it’s easy to dismiss them.
The Best Life
I never asked to be gay, never chose it either, yet God chose me. God loved me and called out to me when I was a young child. I was raised heterosexual and attempted two marriages. My wife and best friend has been with me for twenty years now. I can tell you that God made me gay. I have a relationship with my wife that is eons greater than anything I ever had with a man and I tried, I really tried. Thank God he delivered me to be myself. I have never been happier.
There is evidence that the early Christians believed that God created people who were gay. Part of my deconstructing from religion was the tearing down of walls that said, “homosexuals who have sex is bad”. Yah, they told me I could be gay as long as I didn’t have sex. How laughable! Forgot that part about, “As a man thinks in his heart”. What they were really saying is that as long as they didn’t have to think about homosexual sex, I would be societally accepted. When I escaped all the tradition, religion and prejudice, I found a God who made me gay and loves me for who I am.
Our Secret Romance
My wife and I love being together. We sit in our recliners in the evening and watch television. Sometimes, we lay on the bed in the evening just to hold one another and talk. She is my companion and the greatest love of my life. We dance together and sing our special songs. We laugh and joke with one another. She is my best friend. Those closest to us are envious of our great love. My hope is that one day, we won’t have to think about being gay in our society. One day, may even come in our lifetime. If it doesn’t, we at least have the pleasure of our own tender love in the privacy of our world.
Available publications by PK Langley
PK writes short stories about life. They are in the form of ebooks for $1.37 each. Get them here.
Religious Deconstruction, The Frustrated Grace Series is now available, with over two hundred comic images on Amazon. You can get a preview of every single one here.
All Things Equal, is an exposition for women and how God
sees them from a very “biblical” point of view. It was what I needed in my first push toward deconstruction. If you are still in a church, and a woman, this is a great book to start. Get it here.
LangleyTown has a specific page for materials that will help you with your deconstruction. Find them here.
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