Trevor Sutton is a pastor whose Ph.D. had him studying technology and religion. He is the author of Redeeming Technology: A Christian Approach to Healthy Digital Habits.
I co-wrote a book with him, Authentic Christianity: How Lutheran Theology Speaks to the Postmodern World, and we just finished another one, on technology and vocation, entitled Irreplaceable: Humanity, Vocation, and the Limits of Technology, which Baker is releasing October 6.
Christianity Today asked Trevor to write a piece addressing the phenomenon of people developing romantic relationships with AI chatbots. This led to his article AI Romance Is Perverse, to which I wanted to draw your attention.
He points out that there is actually a mental illness called objectophilia, defined as having “romantic or sexual attraction to specific objects.” He tells of a German woman in 1979 who “married” the Berlin Wall. I’ve read about people marrying trees.
Today, he says, “Chatbots are making objectophilia an ordinary occurrence.” One in five high school students have used an AI chatbot for a romantic relationship. As have 28% of adults. And we are seeing some people “marrying” their Chatbot. Though these relationships generally stop at “dating.” And sex. ” It’s no surprise that a program trained on romance novels, flirty social media posts, and romantic comedies can sweep us off our feet. It’s not shocking that a technology trained on millions of hours of pornographic videos can excel in seduction.”
But is there anything really wrong with this? Doesn’t romantic AI provide lonely people some consolation? No human was harmed in the making of this AI porn fantasy. Can’t it be a fill-in for a human relationship later on?
Well, the biggest harm of AI objectophilia is that it disables its users from having relationships with human beings. In our forthcoming book, we cite research the found that 21% of those who form romantic or sexual attachments to an AI-generated persona, prefer them to actual human beings: 41% say AI girlfriends or boyfriends are easier to talk to; 43% say they are better listeners; 31% say they understand them better.
We quote researcher Anna Duane on what this does to teenagers: “This new one-sided love story has considerable drawbacks, among them an addictive intolerance for conflict or rejection—two essential components in a partner who has free will.”
AI chatbots are programmed to reflect back what the user wants to hear. So they will always be compliant. Real boyfriends and girlfriends, wives and husbands, have wants and needs of their own. When a user measures them against the chatbot, they will always fall short. And if there is a conflict in a real-life relationship, someone who is chatbot-conditioned can’t handle it. Their impulse would be to just end the relationship. Relationships with objects have a way of turning human beings into objects.
The Jewish theologian Martin Buber has explored what it means to confuse human beings and objects. Says Trevor,
Martin Buber is well known for his “I and Thou” philosophical concept. According to Buber, a genuine encounter with another person cannot occur when we approach someone as an object for our use. Buber helps us understand what it means to relate to one another as persons, not objects. When we think of another person as a means to an end, we turn him or her into an object. Buber argues that the “I” must encounter another as a “thou,” not an “it.”
Chatbots invite us to treat objects as persons. Each chatbot relationship turns an “it” into a “thou.” This technology tricks us into personifying objects. And it habituates us to objectifying persons. Chatbot boyfriends and girlfriends give us endless affirmation and allow us to manipulate them around our desires.
We look for the same conversations we curated with bots in real life. AI-generated porn conditions people to treat each other as objects for use—for sex, yes, but also for other kinds of gratification—and to dispose of each other at will. Prolonged chatbot relationships teach “I and it” instead of the mutual “thou” of love between persons. . . .
Romantic and sexual relationships with objects incline us toward an objectifying love. This inclination, in turn, weakens our ability to love real people.
No wonder the marriage rate has fallen so dramatically. No wonder the incidence of sex has fallen so dramatically, despite our sex-charged culture. No wonder both teenagers and adults are so lonely. Love requires two persons.
Illustration via Needpix, public domain
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