The Distilled Essence of Bob

When I first met my husband, Bob, one of the things that I found most intriguing was how hard it was to pigeonhole him. He was a teacher of philosophy and loved ideas, but he also knew how to fix a sink, install a ceiling fan, and prune an apple tree. He could discuss Plato while cleaning windows and explain Existentialism while raking leaves. Over the years of our relationship—now almost three decades—he’s taught me how to think more clearly, read more widely, and look beneath the surface of things (and, as an added benefit, he’s kept the kitchen sink unclogged). While philosophers rightly have a reputation for being hopelessly abstract, Bob has always been passionately interested in translating ideas into practice.

Three years ago my husband began working on a book that I call the Distilled-Essence-of-Bob. Reading Becoming Real: Authenticity in an Age of Distractions is like having a long conversation with my husband over a beer. It includes philosophical musings and spiritual reflections, with quotes from thinkers who range from Lao Tsu and Thoreau to Viktor Frankel and Rumi. At times Bob writes about the same sorts of experiences I talk about here at The Holy Rover, but he does so from the perspective of a philosopher. And he weaves in his own personal stories, from explaining why he should have hit Bobby Fee in that orphanage in Alaska to reflecting on how it took a set of veterinary tools in rural England to help him mourn his father. Through chapters on work, nature, technology, happiness, and calling, Bob explores how we can live authentic, coherent lives in a world that seems ever-more frenzied and fragmented:

“I believe we have created a culture in which it is very difficult to develop an authentic self,” he writes in the introduction. “Inauthenticity is a kind of psychological or spiritual hunger, a deep yearning for an integrated and coherent identity that is tied into reality…For many people, our endless comforts and conveniences, toys and games, and near-frenzied busyness are more effective than Odysseus’s sirens in taking our eyes and minds from any serious quest to become a person of character and gravity. We live in a world of ‘whatever,’ of bling and endless messages, and of work without end. For many people the deep hunger I have named is not even noticed, so ubiquitous and cacophonous are the distractions.”

Bob’s book is a wise companion in the quest to find an authentic self. I’m hopelessly biased, but I think it’s wonderful. If you’d like to read it yourself, you can order a copy either through his publisher, Ice Cube Press, or through Amazon (Becoming Real: Authenticity in an Age of Distractions).

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