Ups and Downs

We needed a down day.  I´ve learned over the years that extended travel with kids needs to be broken up with down hours each day and down days every week or so.

We were up really late last night at the Saprissa game.  (I decided that if I were going to write a guidebook for Costa Rica, my numero uno suggestion would be to take in a professional soccer game.) I thought the boys were going to pee their pants they were so excited.  I started crying when we sat down.  I spent a month in Costa Rica twelve years ago and a month in Cuba ten years ago; but I told Jeff a few minutes into the game, ¨Now I´ve been to Latin America.¨ Check out the La Ultra Morado (Saprissa fans) on YouTube to get a glimpse of our night.

But really being in Latin America means staying up late.  Really late.  Hence, the down day.

Stupidly, I decided to assuage my guilt that we haven´t touched a single book I brought with us by using the down day to do a little homeschool official style.  Bad, bad idea.

Tired kids áre not the best props for any efforts to make you feel like a better parent.  They were miserable and rotten, and I lost it.  At one point, I heard myself saying, Ïf you say one more word, I´m going to slap you.¨

Which I didn´t do.  Still, threatening violence makes me feel like a loser mother.

On the other hand, they wouldn´t have won sons of the year either.

At one point, when I told Ezra that we were going to run some errands this afternoon, he got all offended, like I had no right to drag them around after the morning he had had.  His logic?  ¨We had to do school and you got to play around all day.¨

When Zach couldn´t understand how to do a math problem, I asked him to read it aloud to me.  When he still couldn´t get it, I asked him to read it more slowly.  In one of his rare but maddening sassy moods, he read it like Jim in Taxi when he was trying to get his driver´s license (one of my favorite scenes in TV history).  I told him to read the question at the end of the problem and think about what it was asking for.  He slammed down his pencil, ran out of the house sobbing and screaming, ¨Why can´t you just remember when I read it the first time?!!

At several points, I thought about much I wanted to swear at them in a way that would reduce them to tears.

Gratefully, most days, even down days, have their ups.  Like these, also from today:

As I was telling the boys about Corinne´s response to my post about all of the things we won´t let the boys do, or the things we force them to do, that are different from other families, Ezra looked up from his ice cream and said, ¨That´s cuz different parents lets their kids do different stuff.  It´s like with snowflakes.¨

Jeff and I just stared at each other.  And I was grateful that after my poor performance in the morning he still considered us a snowflake.

We decided on this down day to give in to the boys´ desire to eat at McDonalds.  I pretend that going to McDonald´s overseas is a cultural event – check out our picture for vindication.  This particular McD´s had a huge play area and the boys played for about ten minutes before coming to eat.  Zach was rushing through his meal and when I asked him why, he said, ¨I need to finish this so I can get back to my friends.¨

Then he ran down to play with the three boys he had met earlier.  They ran around, playing tag and speaking Spanish for another forty minutes.  Like his father, if Zach has met you then you are considered a friend.

And then tonight, as we were pulling up to Kathiana´s aunt´s house for dinner, I thought to myself, ¨This looks a lot like the house I stayed in when I was here twelve years ago.¨

And when we got inside, we were greeted by my former host parents.  I couldn´t believe it.  I really wanted to find them but I had lost their address and couldn´t remember their names.  All I remembered was that they owned a rice farm.  Well, that was enough for Kahiana to find them, contact them, and arrange for a surprise reunion tonight.

We had a great time catching up.  I had come to Costa Rica for a month to learn Spanish after Scott and Sarah died.  My host mother remembered the entire story all these years later, and had tears in her eyes when she saw Jeff and the boys.  And as I was walking back to our van at the end of the visit, my host father put his arm around me and said it was good to see how full my life is now.

Which reminded me that even my down days now are ridiculously up in every way that matters.