Shameless Self-Promotion

Shameless Self-Promotion October 15, 2013

I’ve never been paid to write.  On the contrary, I’ve spent lots of money to write.  I’ve paid for conferences and paid someone to edit my memoir draft.  Before I moved to Patheos, I paid for a domain name for my blog.  And lets not forgot all the money I spent in grad school so that I could write paper after paper that no one other than my professor would read – one of whom told me that my writing was telegraphic.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“Mom died. Stop.  Come home. Stop.”

True. Stop.  $2000 advice. Stop.

When I moved my site to Patheos, I thought I might finally earn my first dollar from writing.  If I get fifteen thousand hits in a month on my Patheos site, they’ll send me a $50 check.  That might not sound like a lot of money, but it would be my fifty dollars, and I would have earned it by writing.

The problem is that I have never come close to getting fifteen thousand hits.  To do that, I would need to promote myself more.

Which stinks. Stop.

I hate posting my own stuff on Facebook.  “Read me. Read me,” I ask my friends.  “Hey you, the one who knew me when I had braces and Farah Fawcett hair, I’m really deep and witty now.  Won’t you please agree? And tell your friends to agree as well?”

I should learn more about how to write Google-worthy titles, and how to chose the right tags, and how to Twitter in ways that get reposted.  So many ways to promote my site, so little chutzpah.

Still, I want that check.  Call it a bucket list item.  Call it an identity crisis.  Whatever it is, I’ve decided to come clean about it; I want to get paid.  I’m even asking you to help: visit often for the rest of the month.  If I get the check, I’ll post a picture of it here.  And if you live nearby, you can come by and I’ll buy you a slice of pie.

Shameless bribery.  Stop.

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