Moving beyond being stuck

Often when you’re stuck, it’s because you’re being held back by assumptions that are no longer true, or assumptions that may never have been true at all. Assumptions such as these, when repeated often enough, firmly become a part of your reality. They become so thoroughly ingrained in your thinking that you forget they’re there, yet they very much continue to exert their influence. Your assumptions are so much a part of you that they can be difficult to examine and even more difficult to change. One useful approach is to step back and look at yourself as if you were someone else. Look at what you think and what you do as if you were an independent observer. Consider how you would view your thoughts, actions and assumptions if your brother, or your cousin, or your neighbor were making them instead of you. It’s extremely likely that you have some assumptions which are simply not true, and which are keeping you stuck where you are. By making the effort to uncover those assumptions, and then discarding them, you free yourself to move forward.

In addition, to get past being stuck you must give yourself permission to move ahead. That sounds a little strange, but the fact is that no matter how unpleasant being stuck might be, it is still, in some ways, very comfortable. It’s what you know, and moving away from being stuck means moving into unknown territory. Much of what keeps you stuck is your own reluctance to move away from the comfort of what is familiar, even though what is familiar may be quite painful. So give yourself permission to do it. When you hear yourself start to make excuses, tell yourself, “It’s OK. I know it’s uncomfortable and challenging, and I know I could think of lots of reasons to stay right where I am, yet this time I’m truly committed to moving myself forward. I give myself permission to ignore the excuses, no matter how compelling they may be. I give myself permission to persist in accomplishing what I have decided to accomplish and what I truly want to do.”

No person, no thing, no circumstance can keep you stuck where you are when you are committed to moving ahead. If you’re stuck, there are plenty of things you can do right now, and plenty of things you can continue to do, that will get you to where you want to be. Others can give you lots of help and encouragement, yet ultimately it is something you will do for yourself. When you feel stuck, you’ve already taken the first step. You’ve experienced the reality that there’s somewhere else you want to go. That desire itself is compelling evidence that you do indeed have the means to get there. So act on it. Let go of the anger and frustration, resist the temptation to feel sorry for yourself or to seek the sympathy of others, move away from those things that are draining you, and start working your way through the obstacles, one by one. Cast off your negative, outdated assumptions and give yourself permission to move past the point of being stuck, and into new and exciting territory.