Too Marvelous For Me

On occasion, it becomes necessary to bring one’s children to one’s office.

I may not be the most organized person in the world. I may not be a compulsive cleaner. But the calamity that ensues any time i bring my kids to work for a few minutes…let’s just say, it makes the rest of my life look orderly to a fault. For every 15 minutes that I spend making a few quick phone calls, gathering some reading to do at home, or answering emails–it takes an hour to clean up the next day. Sometimes, I am fully into the next week before I get back to (even my low standard of) ordered and right.

I mean, how can 2 things so tiny wreak so much havoc in such a small space?? They empty my snack drawer onto the floor. They paint furniture with white-out. They drop books on the floor. Dozens of miniscule items, like paper clips and decorative “prayer” rocks, wind up in odd piles. They drag in toys from the preschool. They dig things out of cabinets that i didnt’ even know i had!

Next time, I’ll take a picture. It’s just… it’s a little too much to describe. Even for an English major.

But for today, I will share this. It has been brought to my attention (by the Holy Spirit) that sometimes, this is what God feels like after leaving me unattended with His church for a few minutes. Especially if I have recently gotten really enthusiastic about a new ministry, program, person or opportunity.

I tend to blow through like so much chaos on wheels, my eye drawn to every shiny thing, my energy almost more than even I can bear, and when finally i stop to look around behind me… well, let’s just say, it takes God at least a week to clean up the remnants, and She is usually not pleased about it.

It’s not like I’ve done any real damage. But I’ve created a frenzied static in a place where all should be at peace.

I know that God values my energy, connective abilities and creative vision. I believe, on my best and worst days, those are some of my most valuable gifts to God’s church, and the reason I was called–for such a time as this.  HOWEVER… however, this is me making a commitment to learn the discipline and restraint to leave a little less chaos in my wake. Chaos that I–or God, or my office assistant –will have to tidy up, at some point, to clear a path for the real transformation to happen around here.

I am glad that my kids have the curiosity, joyfulness– and most of all, the physical ability– to wreck this place in a few short minutes. They don’t do any real harm, they are just blowing through on the way to someplace important, urgent, and lifegiving. May it be so for me; For God’s holy Church; And for our work in the world. (But, may i learn to blow through in a more orderly fashion…)

¹O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high;                                                                                                                                        

I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.                                                                                                                         

²But I have calmed and quieted my soul…