Aretha Didn’t Have a Will: Here are Five Reasons You Should

This just in: Aretha Franklin didn’t have a will.

Granted, her legacy is about far more than tangible assets. Her legacy is in music; and in the power of music to push the gospel into secular spaces. Still …  Money may not be everything, but it’s not nothing. The value of her estate clocks in at around $80 million, and with no plans left in place for her legacy, it is left to her four sons and the county probate court to divvy up what remains.

Yeah, no way for that to go south … right?

Throwing no shade on Aretha here, may she rest in peace. The Queen can do what she wants. But for the rest of us mortals—get your house in order. If you don’t want other people deciding this stuff for you, and you don’t want to cause strife among your remaining loved ones—make a will. The very last thing you ever get to do in this precious life is give what you’ve accumulated to the people AND CAUSES that you love. Why wait?

Well. People have lots of reasons actually. The most common being: I’m young, I don’t have to worry about that. To which I say—even if you’re young, you might die. My husband lost his dad when he was a kid, so we have strong awareness of this reality in my family. If you’ve got young children, that’s even more reason to have your affairs in order.

Another common reason to avoid the whole will thing: I don’t really have any assets to speak of. Well, you might have more than you think. Even if you don’t have piles of cash sitting around, add up life insurance, home equity, and whatever you might have in retirement or investments, and you have: an estate. It may not be sizeable, but that makes it even more imperative that you have your wishes lined out. The cost of processing the whole thing could wind up costing your loved ones more than you have.

But the primary reason people don’t deal with end-of-life plans is: Death is really scary and I don’t want to think about it. It’s really that simple. I recently completed a certification in nonprofit management, which involved coursework in—among other things—planned giving. We talked a lot about the psychology of giving, and I learned that this is the number one obstacle we have to overcome in getting people to consider estate gifts.

It’s ironic: because if anybody should be able to get over their fear of death and focus on what they want their whole life to count for, it’s church people.

Whether you want a portion of your estate to go to your faith community or some other cause you care deeply about; whether or not you have children; whether or not you think your “worth” is worth the paperwork; you need a will. Get it together. Here are 5 reasons to take care of this sooner rather than later. (If I really had my act together, I would make a flow chart using the “excuses not to make a will,” and the consequent “reasons you need a will.” But we all know I’m not that organized, so do a Choose Your Own Adventure kind of situation and read on):

1. Take care of the kids. If you’ve got young children, you are of course concerned with leaving them financially secure in the event of your untimely death. But even more important: you want to establish who will be their caregiver. Thinking about someone else raising your children is both sad and terrifying, I get it. Know what’s even more sad/terrifying? The thought of someone else DECIDING who gets your kids. Many people assume that the courts will just give the kids to grandma. Well, they might. But if you don’t have a will, that process gets tedious, expensive and uncertain for everyone. Social workers and foster care might be involved in the interim. And what if you’ve got multiple grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings in the picture? What if everyone wants to care for your precious children, and in the chaos and the grief of losing you, it turns into an all-out war, with your children caught in the crosshairs? Yes, this is an extreme scenario. But why risk it? Why make it harder than it has to be? Just put your wishes on paper and make it legal. Security for everyone.
2. Preserve relationships. No, not yours. You’ll be dead. I mean the relationships of your existing loved ones. I don’t know about you, but if I had to narrow my life and parenting goals down to three main things—knowing that my kids are going to have a good relationship as adults would be way up there. And yes, if I trust that they are close, maybe I could also trust that they won’t fight and haggle over whatever I leave them. But why would I put them in that situation? Leaving clear instructions for your loved ones mean that they can spend quality time together remembering you, not arguing over what to do with your stuff. In my line of work, I see way too many families thrown into conflict in times of grief.
3. Leave a legacy, and let your life speak. In addition to taking care of the needs of your children, spouse and other loved ones, you can leave a portion of what you accumulate in life to benefit causes and organizations that are important to you. Your end-of-life gift can literally transform lives, which means you go on living after you’re gone. Literally put your treasure where your heart is, and feel good about what kind of work you’re enabling with your life choices.
4. Find peace of mind and display spiritual maturity. Nobody likes to think about death. It isn’t fun. But you will be less anxious about facing your mortality if you’ve got your house in order, and you know that the people and things most important to you will be taken care of. Not to mention, people who are evolved in their faith can talk about death without too much fear and trembling.
5. Secure the future mission of your Church. Oh, hi. I have to get this in here: please consider including your faith community in your plans. It cannot be overstated that our sustainability depends on you: not just on your weekly and monthly giving, but on the estate gifts that go into permanent funds and create a source of sustained income. Too often, the church is remiss in asking for these gifts—or doesn’t provide instruction or resources that enable people to do so—and so the people who have faithfully supported a ministry their whole lives long don’t get to the opportunity to make the one final gift that could be a game-changer. There are many ways to incorporate the church into your will: you could leave a fixed amount or a percentage of total assets; or consider the church as a “third child” (i.e., if you’ve got two children, add the church as a third beneficiary and split the total estate three ways). What’s important is to recognize how vital your gifts are to the church’s survival, and plan accordingly.

For those in my Disciples of Christ circles specifically, talk to the good folks at the Christian Church Foundation about the many ways to include the church in your estate.

Even closer to home, here is some information for the Legacy Fund at Saint Andrew Christian Church. Take a look at what we’ve done if your church is in beginning stages of establishing such a program.

The important thing is: know what matters to you, know what needs you want covered in your absence and take control of your life story. The end doesn’t have to be the end.