“Death is Just a Part of Life.”  WTF?

“Death is Just a Part of Life.”  WTF? March 22, 2021




“Death is Just a Part of Life.”  WTF?



In the midst of death, people really know how to speak dumbassticity.  Who gives a shit about “thoughts and prayers” when someone’s child has been murdered?  When has “they’re in a better place” ever helped the widow of a suicide victim?  What does “it was just there time” have to offer to the survivor of a fatal car accident?  Where is the “they lived a great life” when a child is mourning their mother?  What in the world does “they will never leave you” even mean?  We are so addicted to all of this meaningless gibberish. We use it over and over again with no regard for how it might come across.  The core of dumbassticity is a fundamental inability to love your neighbor because you are too busy trying to comfort your self.  I am convinced that that’s the only reason people say any of this bullshit.  With that in mind, there is one statement that is worse than all the others…because it dismisses present and future pain all at once…


“Death is just a part of life.”


Growing up, I heard this phrase all the time.  People in our family used it as an automatic response to difficult questions about death.  The problem with such a response is that it is theologically bankrupt. We are out here claiming to follow Jesus and talking this bullshit.  Death is not a part of life.  Death is the antithesis of life.  The message of Jesus is about the death of death.  To preach anything else is to preach falsely…to deny the very message of love…that love never dies.  Make no mistake…death is an injustice of the highest order…and the message of Jesus is about destroying it.


We don’t understand how much we fuck people up by saying such things.


I lost my grandfather a few months ago.  We were very close.  I can still hear his silly conversations with my kids.  I can still fear warmness of hope when we prayed together.  I miss him. Since he lived a long life…people acted like his death was just the way things were supposed to be. Regularly, my grief was treated as an overreaction.  Why are you so upset?


“Death is just a part of life.”


This response was meant to shut me down.  It had the opposite effect.  It caused me to cling even tighter to the message of Jesus that love is the great destroyer of death.  Love never dies.  Death has nothing to do with life.


Last week, a young white man burst into multiple spa locations and gunned down as many people as he could.  The victims were mostly of Asian descent.  The events unleashed fear of further hate crimes throughout the country. In the midst of so much pain, I heard that bullshit again…


“Death is just a part of life.”


So, are we just supposed to act like nothing ever happened…because it’s just a part of life?  There is no greater evil than to dismiss injustice…especially in the name of compassion.  The people in those spas didn’t have to die…and love demands that we push back with all that we are…not just casually assume that it is normal.  FYI:  It is always fucked up to call the murder of others normal.


Today, I’ve struggled with the death of a family friend from many years ago.  Honestly, I hadn’t seen or talked to her in decades. Yet, my heart still longed for her to live.  I only know of one way to explain such a longing…it was put there by love in the beginning…my beginning…our beginning.


“Death is not a part of life.”


Only love is.


Stop talking all that other bullshit.



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