Rape Was/Is Never a Joke. (T/W A Good Friday Recollection)
For many years, I haven’t thought about that morning. I guess one tends to block things like that out. However, nightmares always seem to find their way back to the surface.
The other night, I was talking to the kids about boundaries. I didn’t grow up in a world where we ever talked about such things. I certainly would’ve been better off if I had.
As the conversation continued, the kids could tell that I was growing increasingly uncomfortable. For a moment, I closed my eyes. Then, it all came flooding back.
We were trying to save as much money as possible. That meant we would all be sleeping in the same room. I was so exhausted that I didn’t care. I quickly fell asleep.
The next morning, I was awoken to rowdy laughter. Everybody else was already up. I was very groggy…and I couldn’t figure out what was going on. In time, I realized that someone was on top of me. I repeatedly heard the same sound…that of a bomber dropping their payload over and over. “Oh my God, he actually just went in.” That’s when it became apparent that one of my friends was trying to shove his erect dick into my asshole as the rest of our friends cheered. He was holding me down. I couldn’t move. Repeatedly, I demanded that he stop. Nobody listened. “I think he likes it!” Then, it was over. Everyone just went about their day. The sheets were moist with his cum as I got up. My friend was still laughing…and assured me that he was just playing. “I’m not gay you know.”
I got up and acted like nothing happened. In fact, I was very successful at it. I even remained friends with this guy for many years after. I just chalked the whole thing up to ignorance. Now, I realize it was much more than that.
Sensing that I had left and come back, the kids wanted to know what I’d been thinking about. Considering their innocence, I simply said…
“I was thinking about a time when a lack of boundaries really hurt.”
In the vessel of my memories, death paid me an unexpected visit.
It’s allowed me the chance to ponder the meaning of this holy hour.
“It is finished.”
Good Friday is only good if we will ourselves to remember that we are not defined by death…for love has overcome such things.