Joseph The Feminist

The New Testament’s First Feminist : Joseph : Matthew 1:18-25

The night Joseph found out, he didn’t sleep. He lay on his mat in the dark, staring at the ceiling, running his fingers along the edge of his blanket, trying to make the story work. Trying to find any explanation that didn’t end with the woman he loved being dragged to the edge of town and buried under stones.

Mary was pregnant. The child was not his.

In first century Palestine, this wasn’t gossip. It was a death sentence. The law was clear…an engaged woman found pregnant by another man was to be stoned. The community would gather. The rocks would fly. And the men would walk home afterward feeling righteous, feeling clean, feeling like they had upheld the honor of God and the purity of their cultures.

Joseph had every right to make that call. He had the law on his side. He had tradition on his side. He had religion on his side. Every man in Nazareth would have understood.

But Joseph resisted.

Choosing Mercy : Joseph the Feminist

The text tells us he was “a righteous man.” We often read past that too quickly. It doesn’t just mean he followed the rules or kept the commandments. It means he chose mercy over the law. He refused to destroy a woman, even when he was undoubtedly hurt and had permission.

And Mary…Mary did not stand silently in this story. She had already made her own choice, saying yes to a life and mission that would defy every expectation. She trusted God’s call, even when it made her vulnerable, even when it would expose her to danger and shame.

Joseph lay there in the dark and somewhere in the silence, he made a decision. He would not expose her. He would not drag her name through the streets. He would protect her, quietly, privately, in a way that might let her slip away and continue the work God had called her to do. It wasn’t a perfect solution. But it was mercy. And it was an act of solidarity with Mary, an act of partnership in a dangerous world.

Lifting Mary Up

When the angel finally came…appearing in a dream with that strange command to take Mary as his wife, to raise a child that wasn’t his, to trust a story that no reasonable person would believe…Joseph didn’t just accept it. He didn’t just tolerate Mary. He didn’t just step aside.

He lifted her up.

He gave her his name. He gave her his protection. He gave her his reputation…knowing full well that it could be destroyed in the giving. Every neighbor, every relative, every religious leader would assume the worst. And still, Joseph chose Mary’s safety, Mary’s voice, Mary’s calling over his own honor.

And Mary? She continued to act. She moved with courage, speaking boldly, traveling to Bethlehem, giving birth in a humble stable, raising her child in faith and love, partnering with Joseph at every step. She was not a passive figure. She was active, resilient, daring…and Joseph’s role was to create space for her, to lift her up rather than to controlling her.

Becoming Equals : Joseph the Feminist

Over time, their partnership became one of equals. Joseph’s strength complemented Mary’s courage…her vision guided his protection. They made decisions together, prayed together, and shared the weight of responsibility for the child and the mission God had given them. Neither dominated the other. Neither took the spotlight for themselves. Together, they embodied a new model of partnership…mutual respect, shared responsibility and reciprocal love. They became creators of God’s plan of salvation, each honoring the other’s agency, each using their gifts to serve not themselves, but the life God was bringing into the world.

Smash the Patriarchy

Joseph the Feminist didn’t just step aside. He smashed the patriarchy. He refused to weaponize the law. He refused to uphold a system that would destroy a woman to protect a man’s honor. He risked shame, reputation and safety to make space for Mary’s voice and agency.

The nativity scenes have it wrong. Joseph shouldn’t be standing in the corner holding a staff, dignified and detached. Joseph should be on his knees, his hands beneath Mary’s, lifting her toward the heaven that was opening above them.

Because that is what they did together. Before the shepherds came, before the magi arrived, before the angels filled the sky with glory…there was Mary, saying yes to God and Joseph, saying yes to mercy, to courage, to love beyond self. Together they carried the world’s hope, each lifting the other, each using their power for life, for justice, for the God who comes to dwell among us.

The incarnation itself depended on their equality. God could not be born until a man and a woman were willing to rise together, to risk shame, to shatter the barriers that keep life small. In their partnership, heaven touched earth…and the world was never the same.

This is what it looks like when a man finally becomes righteous…not by wielding power…but by giving it away.