It’s come to my attention there are some parents of more than one child who do not know this potty-training method. You need to know this method.
What you’ll need:
- A small child ready to be done with diapers. Not “ready” per his decision, but ready per medical advice and mother’s readiness.
- At least one older sibling who knows how the whole potty thing works.
- A bag of skittles.
What you do:
Every time the potty-training child goes potty in the toilet, all children of the home get a piece of candy.
Q. Does this mean my children are going to spend all day running my toddler to the potty every five minutes?
A. Yes, it does. What exactly was your goal, if not that?
Q. How do I handle accidents, going in the diaper, and other potty training failures?
A. I like Windex, paper towels, and old grocery bags. But you won’t get many of them, now that your toddler has a steady supply of candy so long as he can produce another milliliter of peepee in the pot.
Q. Doesn’t this teach children to work for rewards instead of a sense of personal accomplishment?
A. That’s the reason 99% of workers with paying jobs turn out at the office each morning.
Q. My children are spoiled. Candy doesn’t motivate them.
A. You’re doing it wrong.
Q. Will I still be giving out potty-candy ten years from now?
A. Only if you keep having more babies. Once the child is actually potty trained, end the candy routine by celebrating with a definitive reward to end all rewards. (In our house, the coveted item is My Very Own Umbrella Now That I’m a Big Kid, but your mileage may vary.)
Now you know. Train one, and then let your minions manage the underlings. Good luck on that first one, though. Sheesh.
Artwork: Isaac Cruikshank [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons