It is not necessary for other people to miss out on Thanksgiving so that you can be adequately amused. Just because the stores are open does not mean you have to go shopping. Here’s a list of alternate ways to entertain yourself on Thursday.
1. Visit with your friends or family.
2. Bake a pie.
3. Watch a movie.
4. Go for a walk.
5. Play Scrabble.
6. Serve Thanksgiving dinner to the homeless.
7. Build something with Legos.
8. Pray for someone you love.
9. Pray for someone you can’t stand.
10. Call your relatives.
11. Do your Christmas cards.
12. Rake your leaves.
13. Rake someone else’s leaves.
14. Blow the snow off the sidewalks to check for leaves.
15. Learn to use chopsticks.
16. Learn to make espresso.
17. Write a letter to the editor.
18. Read a book.
19. Write a book.
20. Box up all the books you aren’t ever going to finish to drop off at Goodwill in the morning.
21. Take a long hot bath.
22. Build a fire.
23. Roast marshmallows.
24. Learn to crochet.
25. Decorate the house with paper snowflakes.
26. Eat frozen pizza.
27. Check your oil.
28. Rearrange the furniture.
29. Speak only in Pig Latin.
30. Speak only in real Latin.
31. Get everything organized for tax time.
32. Write year-end donation checks to your favorite charities.
33. Play touch-football.
34. Play rugby.
35. Play Airsoft.
36. Go hunting. Or just make like a hunter and sit in a tree for a few hours.
37. Throw the Frisbee for your dog.
38. Repaint the bathroom.
39. Maybe just clean the bathroom.
40. Learn to play bridge.
41. Learn to play poker.
42. Learn to mix cocktails.
43. Learn how to saunter around in high heels.
44. Learn how to maintain a debonair expression while accepting a cocktail from the hostess sauntering around in high heels.
45. Take a pledge to never, ever, make green bean casserole again.
46. Repent. Work on your green bean casserole for next year.
47. Memorize the names and dates of the American presidents.
48. Memorize the names and dates of the French presidents.
49. Ask yourself: Who would want to date these guys?
50. Learn to sing a song that you like.
51. Learn to ignore the faces people make when you sing that song.
52. Visit your next door neighbors.
53. Leave before you’ve eaten all their pie.
54. Paint a picture.
55. Make a mosaic.
56. Make a piece of jewelry.
57. Make a no-sew clothing project.
58. Make a yes-sew clothing project.
59. Think of who you could give your project to who would actually wear it.
60. Resolve to meet more four-year-olds. They’ll wear anything, if you spin it right.
61. Figure out how to make your (non) sewing project appealing to a four-year-old.
62. Go pick up litter from that place where everyone throws their beer cans.
63. Go pick up litter in your living room, even it’s not beer cans.
64. Clean your oven.
65. Clean your neighbor’s oven.
66. Give yourself a reward if you can do #65 without offending your neighbor.
67. Sign up for a new social media platform and learn how to use it.
68. Delete a social media account and relish the freedom it gives you.
69. Play a video game that was wildly popular in 2012.
70. Play charades.
71. Play Twister.
72. Play the piano.
73. Do a puzzle.
74. Turn the puzzle over and do it blank-side up.
75. Make birthday cards for your friends and relatives for the next 12 months.
76. Go on a photo safari. Don’t take any pictures of yourself.
77. Go on a photo safari. Take pictures of yourself in 100 different places.
78. Go on a scavenger hunt.
79. Put that back. Reconfigure the scavenger hunt so that no crimes are committed, even if the police are all distracted managing the mob at mall.
80. Learn to play the recorder.
81. Join a support group for people whose family members kicked them out into the cold for playing the recorder.
82. Play croquet.
83. Play badminton.
84. Just put on the white pants, serve the cocktail, and call it good.
85. Sort your recycling.
86. Make something with modeling clay.
87. Organize your photo albums.
88. Put names and dates on all the photos of people you know perfectly well, but your great-grandchildren won’t.
89. Figure out how chemistry works.
90. Explain to someone else how chemistry works.
91. Do a chemistry experiment.
92. Completely clean the kitchen up again before your mother finds out.
93. Sort your M&M’s into colors and make a mosaic. If you used already M&M’s in #55, use Skittles this time.
94. Play with play-dough.
95. Quit feeding the dog play-dough. And clean up that mess.
96. Do the Virginia Reel.
97. Stay up late talking to your friends.
98. Organize a drum circle.
99. Disband the drum circle and apologize to the neighbors about the noise.
100. Go to bed, but not too early. If you really must, you can go shopping Friday morning at a respectable hour.
Image: August Macke [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
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