Some friends are lamenting the plague of poorly-behaved children at what ought to be decent restaurants. These are people who like children, but who want to eat with the sure confidence that a stranger’s fork won’t be launched across the room by the little monster making the high-pitched scream as he races through the establishment.
As a parent, you don’t want to be “that family.” But we know children have free will, and that we cannot control other people, we can only respond to their actions. If you follow two easy tips, you’ll never be the restaurant-wrecker again.
1. If you are captive, eat someplace with low standards. There are times when you have to go into a restaurant, even though Junior is not fit for company — when you are traveling, for example. Choose an establishment that is not one of those places people go for a quiet, leisurely retreat. Get in, get out, do your best to enforce some standards, and apologize to those around you if your children are a nuisance. Done.
2. All the other times: Do not allow your children to be in the restaurant if they are misbehaving. If it’s a family event, like a wedding dinner, and you are there alone with several children, leave your civilized ones in the hands of a relative, and take the hoodlums to the parking lot until they can behave. If it’s just you and your kids, you can just pay your bill and go, done, or one adult can stay with behaving children while the other adult takes naughty children out of the restaurant.
Prevent disasters as much as possible by gauging your child’s behavior before deciding to go to the restaurant. If the child is already tired, cranky, or overwrought, it is not a good time to go out to eat. It’s unfair of you to ask your child to meet a standard of behavior he simply isn’t ready to provide right now.
When you have a good experience, thank your children and compliment them. “It’s such a pleasure being able to go out someplace special with you. You are a real lady/gentleman.”
That’s all there is to it.
This is the method that works. Parents who grow up to have children who are reliably pleasant to eat with use this approach. You don’t have to be mean, you don’t have to lose your temper, you don’t have to think up some elaborate scheme. You just have to make the firm decision that people who can’t get along with others shouldn’t be in restaurants.
Keep using this method for as long as you want your children to be civilized. It works on fussy babies (just go pace with the baby outside until she settles down) and it works on fussy teenagers (who can go sit outside all by themselves, if you are lucky), and fussy adults (whom you do not have to invite to join you if they’ve proven themselves unpleasant to be with).
Use the method, and there will be times when you don’t get to eat at the restaurant. But with persistence, eventually you’ll have children who are a pleasure to eat with, and who get invited to go places even by other adults who aren’t obliged, but just like your family’s company.
Artwork by The FAB Awards (The FAB Awards) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
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